There's No Crying in Baseball! (Or grad school)

Can you tell what's on when I'm trying to get some work done?

I'm sitting here with a Neuro test and a few WTPs due and all can think is FUCK MY BRAIN IS DEAD!

I have so much spinning in it I can't even think straight. And you expect me to be productive? Let's take this one hour at a time here. Like Kit, I feel like such a fraud 90% of my time here. Who the hell let this fuck-up in to a Master's Program? You think I know what I'm doing?

Morning Madness

I tell you, getting up to walk 5K (even if it is just a walk) is invigorating, especially when you are doing it with two women that are intellectually and professionally very similar to where you want to be in 10 years. Seriously, good walk with two members of the Early Childhood Education faculty, one of whom taught students I teach currently, and just generally good conversation while torching off 300+ calories. Such a bad feeling about academia and how cut-throat, politically-charged, and gossipy, but I guess that goes with the territory of putting 30+ women in a department together. I'm not sure I am the person to succeed in a world where relationship building is so important, and I don't really like conflict. I'm more one of those to do the job I was given and get out. I enjoy talks that improve my practice. I enjoy being challenged once again.

I am currently enjoying listening to NPR programs and lounging in bed with a cup of tea and a book. Should be studying or working, but what are you going to do? It's Saturday! I am going to enjoy at least part of my weekend. What are you up to this weekend?

Stuff

I need a beer.
Today was the day from hell.
I do think I need to calm down.
You think that this mind can't generate thoughts of its own?
I do think I'm way too imaginative for my own good.
I think that my favorite thing to do is browse Pinterest.
It would get old after a while.
I am being challenged.
I don't think that I can ever be taken serious.
I would never bring a two year old to a 3.5 hour class.
Problem-solving skills are a little lacking here.
Find a sitter.
Find daycare.
Do your best, but I am doing my best.
I think that confidence is king.
Be what you are
Say what you do
Feel good about yourself
Love yourself
Hair
Nails
Shoes
Yoga
These things make me happy.
That sounds so shallow.
It's 9pm and I am in bed.
Friday is my crash and burn night.
I need a beer, but I need a nap more.

One of my favorite web comics, on running

Yes, I love these men. (Or whoever does the oatmeal, anyway.) Fanfreakin'tastic.

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/running

I do feel like this, ALL THE TIME

And this is great:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/jessicamisener/25-deeply-painful-phd-student-problems-besides-your-thesis

Fitness and goals

So I don't know how I did it, but I did survive moving without tracking and managed to lose 0.4 lbs in two weeks. I'm back to plan though, this weekend its all tracking and activity. I'm in my new city of Stillwater, OK at OSU living the grad student life and trying to navigate WW on a budget. 

The good news is I just really don't have that much money for food, so I think I automatically eat less and I'm walking all over campus, so I think that was how I was able to keep the weight off from my 5% goal two weeks ago. 

But I do want to be losing more, and there is no WW meeting here that fits my time (there's one outside of campus that meets when I'm class and the one on campus shut down last semester.) The closest is in Tulsa or OK City which are both an hour from me. 

So I may need to just do this with the help of this blog and the online tools. 

I bought a scale with a BMI calculator and a body fat calculator today at Wal-Mart. My office mate recently lost 80 lbs doing something similar to WW in Australia and she's committed to fitness and I go walking with her regularly. So I think I can do this. Just checking in and keeping accountable! 

I made it through my second week of graduate school!

And I'm so ready for a three-day weekend!

Too bad I have grading, studying, clinic-planning, and a million other things to do!

But seriously blessed that I have this opportunity to further my education.