The Story Writing Workshop is our writing and reading session in Echoes of Recovery. When we write our truth, we go much deeper than when we talk. The Story is all about digging deep to find healing.
We will have our next The Story reading sessions next Wednesday, July 16th.
Morning Call: 9am MDT
Evening Call: 6pm MDT
The writing prompt for next Wednesday's sessions is: Green Flags
We talk a lot in Echoes about missing red flags as we proceeded through our relationships. A huge part of the work of recovery is recognizing the red flags, and making hard decisions about navigating through trauma and chaos.
For this prompt, let's look at the green flags that are trying to lead us toward peace, growth, and self-confidence.
Please write about the non-negotiable truths about yourself that you've discovered. Share things you see in your life - supportive people, peaceful living arrangements, relationships with your kids, job goals/opportunities - that are like green flags guiding you forward. So often when you "choose your hard," you fixate on the challenges, the negatives of the choice. For this prompt, please focus on the positives that motivate your actions. As hard as this all is, you have a lot going for you. Please write about it.
Having trouble finding the time to write? Our Echoes of Recovery participants lead busy lives. But busy is a matter of priorities, and we believe so strongly in the power of writing our stories, that we offer this suggestion if you are having trouble finding time to write. Try the Seven Minute Prompt method. Set a timer for seven minutes, write to the prompt above, and stop wherever you are at the end of the time. No need to edit. Just bring the output from your seven minutes of writing to our session, and read with pride for finding time to squeeze in the writing this week.
On next Wednesday's video calls, we will read our stories to each other. Please be prepared to give and receive relentlessly positive feedback. In The Story Writing Workshops, we reward the vulnerability of our writers.
Early on Wednesday morning, I will send the ZOOM links to join the reading sessions. Please let me know if you have any questions, and we can't wait to hear your stories!
Positive things I see in my life:
1. Echoes retreat was so great for allowing myself to see green flags.
2. Everytime I leave my house, I realize how much I do have to offer the world.
3. I am worthy.
4. Hanging out with badass women help me realize that.
5. Toxic people do not help me realize that.
Green flags guiding me forward?
1. Focus on the small.
2. Go for walks. Always move. It makes me feel better longterm even if I don't feel like it short-term.
3.
It's incredibly difficult tonight to sit down and come up with green flags in my relationship, especially after coming back from the Echoes of Recovery retreat for a week. One of the non-negotiables present at the retreat that I immediately noticed was missing upon my return was that emotional safety that needs to be there to thrive. It was so present in Denver, with Matt and Sheri, with my Echoes sisters (and brother -- didn't forget about you Mike!) that I was caught superiorly off gaurd immediately following my return.
Emotional safety is not waking your partner up after a 1am-6am flight at 10am (after 4 hours of sleep) and asking if she wanted to go eat lunch and grocery shopping. I said I didn't but it didn't matter. He rebutted and said that the best way to counter a red-eye is just to power through and sleep later to get your sleep schedule back on track. (He is the expert on sleep, after all, with narcolepsy and everything.) I didn't fight it. I just didn't want to. I didn't have the urge to. But I couldn't help but feel that my Echoes peeps wouldn't have done that...would they? Do I live in a normal relationship?
It was my fault for not putting my foot down. I felt guilty for leaving for more than a week. I was gone for two. He was lonely. He doesn't function well when he's lonely. I needed to get up and do what he needed to do. So I did. Ugh.
But this writing is supposed to be about green flags. My green flags are I am actually in better shape than I thought I was at this point in my life. I can climb a glacier at 10K feet in the air. My green flags are that I can make conversation with anyone in the room and listen well to anyone telling their story. My green flags are that I do genuinely enjoy listening for the sake of listening and not responding. Thanks for that one, Matt. It takes a good human to point that out to me sometimes.
Other green flags are career related. I've reached leadership positions at school. I can run a classroom confidently, I can help other teachers when needed. I do my part without annoying people and get the job done and move on with my day. I like to think I make the world a better place at work. For everyone.
Green flags are I am able to lose 20 lbs in 6 months and should do that some more. I can get up and walk a few miles every morning and feel great about myself.
I can do that when I'm everywhere else except my own home. I felt that difference dramatically this week. Upon return from the retreat. After having 9 other individuals listen to me with apt attention and not judge, having the ONE person who is supposed to be there for you no matter the circumstances not do shit and make me feel insignificant is a pretty big slap in the face.
And I want to give him credit. He is trying. He's just not there yet. He is unable to be emotionally safe. But for how long to accept the red flags that arent' turned to green flags after six months of true sobriety?
How long does one wait?
I think that's what I am struggling with the most. It's not all bad all the time by any means. After the recent podcast where I just COULD NOT put my finger on the very time it got bad, the drinking turned toxic, because it was a slow burn, I can't put my finger exactly on reasons to stay either. It's very much a grey zone.
Green flags include: I do feel amazing about myself when I am BY MYSELF or with safe other people.
When I am doing my thing and making my decisions for the most part, I am thriving. That should be all the information I need, but of course relationships that last for 14 years are not that simple.
It should not be ALL about YOU anymore. We should be moving on. Getting health(ier). I fear that I am getting healthier and growing at a faster rate. I don't want to be pulled back into you vortex of toxicity like I have been for the last five years. (Although I didn't realize that's where I was at the time.)
Non-negotioables include: You will not make fun of my food, my clothing, or anything that make me feel emotionally unsafe. You will respect me as human being.
Non-negotiobales include: Treating me as if I were your equal. With the same respect you have for yourself (except this is not ok because you probably have very little respect for yourself, and thus feel the same about me.)
Non-negotiables include: You will tell me and have a basic conversation about your day. Everyday. I don't think that's too much to ask.
If I can't get that from you, I do think I have the right to go elsewhere. If only that were so easy.
