Top Ten Things To Say in an Interview for an Infant Room Teaching Position That Might Betray the Fact that You Know Crap About Babies
10. "...Will there be feces?"
9. "What would I do at floor time with the rug rats? Crap if I know... HAHAHAHAHA. ...Shoot myself? Wait....was that a trick question?"
8. "Well, if faced with a floor full of babies, I would...dance a jig and hope for the best? Talk about Sesame Street and how awesome it is to be able to talk?"
7. "Well, what do you want me to do with a floor full of babies? Quote Shakespeare?" Discuss Homer and the Odyssey? You can never teach them too early!"
6. "Your Baby Can Read. That's what we would be doing. Your Baby Can Read, Theory of Hegemonic Decline, classic lit--you know, the usual."
5. "What can possibly be so hard about a room full of babies? You pop in a tape and let the music do the rest...right? Um, thank God for Raffi--know what I mean?""
4. "You mean there's a wrong way to slap a diaper on that little fella? Who knew?"
3. "She's so TINY! Are you sure I won't break her? So, how hard could I squeeze her? I mean, theoretically..."
2. "You mean that little munchkin...er...dopey/sleepy/sneezy...I have do what? You are asking me to do what now? I DON'T THINK SO BIOTCH."
1. "What if I run out of formula? Is there a snack machine in this place?"
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