Sometimes I underestimate the value of a good support network

I'm reminded tonight who the important people in my life are, and am glad they are there. The good kind of support always does that to you.

The good kind of support listens, and doesn't judge. The good kind of support doesn't give unsolicited advice, unless you ask for an opinion. The good kind of support doesn't tell you what you "should be" doing at this point in your life and make you feel inferior when you aren't there. I do enough of that without anyone's help, thank you very much.

The good kind of support feels safe.

I had forgotten for a while what safe feels like when talking to people. I had forgotten until today. Until I talked to the one person that always felt safe.

At one point in our conversation, she reminded me that "I was always compliant."

Well that's the under statement of the year. And then I was reminded how compliance is evil. Compliance has always been the way I do things, to avoid conflict. It worked until it didn't. I generally worked in school. Being invisible is how I roll. But invisibility and compliance don't work in life.

I was reminded that in a gentle way today. I have been told that by others, but I don't think it sunk in until now.

I don't think I have a point with this post, and it will certainly take much more reflection to get at what can even be considered a point, but sometimes it just takes the right person. To listen. Absorb. And quietly suggest. How can someone know you better than you know yourself? A little scary, but I'm willing to give this a shot...

Thoughts

Prompt courtesy of THE STORY OF A GIRL. Because sometimes we all need a little help and inspiration...play along with this one too if you wish! I know I am struggling lately with motivation to write anything of substance. Maybe this will help. Maybe not.

currently...stoked from the awesome day with the girls around Seoul
worried about my future and life after Korea
reading Jhumpa Lahiri--Unaccustomed Earth
creating some new blog posts, oragami masterpieces, doodles in my sketchbook, and a few poems, maybe some crocheted pieces later
loving This new Holly Brook song I discovered on the blog mentioned above called CURIOUS. Absolutely beautiful.
hating the fact that my sink is piled with dishes, I have to take the trash out, and do laundry tomorrow. Sometimes being a grownup sucks. LOL.
wondering if I'll ever find a career that makes me truly happy or if I'll settle for the next ten years and also loving my haircut that I got today
craving attention, at the moment and love long term
listening brad paisley "little moments" (same blog playlist, I'm loving it!)
watching true blood on mute this show is visually stimulating!
netflixing the tv shows I've missed when being in Korea over the course of the year when I get back: Dexter, 30 Rock, How I Met Your Mother, as well as this Year's academy award nominees including True Grit and The King's Speech. Can't wait!

3 Things About Me: Play Along!

3 Things About Me. Please don't break the cycle. It's fun to learn different things about our friends!

Three names I go by:

1. Jennifer Rose (always since elementary school since being a double!)

2. Rosie

3. Bubbles (Girl Scout counselor name, that Girl Scout camp friends still call me, over five years later!)


Three places I've lived:

1. Atlanta, GA

2. Minneapolis, MN

3. Seoul, South Korea


Three places I have worked:

1. Dekalb County Parks and Recreation, Tucker Center (camp counselor)

2. University of Georgia Library

3. Minneapolis Public Schools


Three things I watch:

1. Glee

2. Big Love

3. Sex and the City and Gilmore Girl re-runs


Three places I've been:

1. British Columbia, Canada

2. New York City, New York

3. Mexico City, Mexico


Three people who email me regularly:

1. Emily

2. Mom

3. Groupon.com


Favorite food:

1. Pasta with pesto and shrimp

2. Sushi

3. Lately it has been pizza cravings in Korea


Three people I think will respond:

1. Emily

2. Kathryn

3.Renee if she's not working? LOL


Three things I am looking forward to:

1. Leaving Korea April 15th!

2. Being able to actually know what I am buying (price and nutrition facts and ingredients) at the grocery store

3. Not teaching for a while and being a student again!

When the going gets tough creatively

And I can't seem to think about a single thing worthwhile to blog about, I turn to a little site I like to call CreativeWritingPromts.com. I scroll over a number, and see what pops up. If I don't like the prompt, I move to the next one. Today, I will elaborate on Prompt #339, which asks the writer to "Write about 5 things you would do if you did not see a soul for seven days."

I say this is difficult because it also doesn't give a stipulation about what you can have with you. I'm going to assume I lock myself in my apartment for those seven days, because it is winter and I am an introvert, and I live in Minnesota, not seeing a soul for seven days is an easy thing to do. Assuming I lock myself in my apartment, I have all things in my apartment. I can't go anywhere, but I have a lap top and a cell phone, which doesn't require that I actually SEE anyone. (Is that cheating?) Here's my list:

1. Update Netflix Instant queue and watch all the movies on it. I love this site, and because I don't have cable, it is my TV, along with Hulu.com and Youtube. What do you readers do for TV? What is your favorite watch TV online website? What do you turn to when there is crap on TV?

2. Perfect my recorder technique. I own three recorders (soprano, alto, and a tenor one that I bought off ebay last year.) I have some music, but I enjoy going online and looking up new music. Because I don't have a piano, these are my connection to creating music. What do you readers do for a creative outlet? What is your musical instrument of choice?

3. Read every book on my bookshelf currently.

4. Try cooking new recipes with the contents of my fridge and pantry. I'm awful about going shopping, and then using what I've bought to create fresh dishes, due to time mostly. I have several recipes on my shelf that I've been dying to try. Do you readers have a favorite you'd like to share?

5. Crochet, and finish all the projects I've started.

6. Teach myself how to draw and paint.

7. Watch my entire DVD collection.

8. Sleep.

9. Actually DO my YOGA and PILATES DVDs.

10. Plant an indoor vegetable garden, assuming I have the supplies. Oh wait, that's what the internet is for. What would I do without the Internet?

11. Update my resume and start looking for an actual teaching position. I never get to do this now that I'm employed again, but it's something that I do need to start focusing on now that the new year is coming around.

This should provide enough entertainment for seven days. What would you readers do if you didn't see a soul for seven days? Would it be easy? Would it be difficult? Would you go crazy? I see so many people at work and being an introvert, I recharge by being by myself. I need to spend more time by myself in creative pursuits, that I know. But how? How do you readers recharge? Find sanity in a crazy world? Have I asked enough questions yet? Enjoy your weekend, and peace to you all!!!

Since when do I have time to update three times a day?

Honestly, I have no clue. But this thing seems to be a healthy outlet, so let me have my space to vent. I finished the interview at THE CITY and it went well. I interviewed with two of the lead teachers there for a Title I reading and writing tutor position. It's four hours a day, and I found out that I would be meeting with only four students per day, with a caseload much larger than that, as all Title I positions are concerned. They seemed really concerned that my high school student experience was limited to the AVID program at Patrick Henry High School, but I tried to assure them that that experience was intensive, and I learned a lot while I was there. The interviewers also kept reminding me that this is a "chaotic" and "interesting" position in which students don't show up, aren't at school, aren't ready for tutoring, and in that case, flexibility is key. I countered that with all of my Minneapolis Public School tutoring experience where flexibility was key as well. I have plenty of "keep it flexible" experience when it comes to working as an assistant teacher and tutor. That I do. They said they would let me know by Friday. I have no idea what kind of impression I made. Interviews are awkward for everyone involved. I understand that. But is there a way to make them less awkward? I just want this whole phase of my life to be over. I am very committed to the organizations and people that are committed to me. Just give me a chance and let me show you what I can do for you. You won't be disappointed. I promise. :)

Job Search Update

Organizations other than the school districts seem to be biting this week, as I have had two interviews at organizations and 2 more in the following days.

1. The first was at the FRASER SCHOOL for an infant room assistant teacher position. I'm excited about this one because it's full time and I would be a full employee of the school. I love the mission of this school. It's a full inclusion school and was founded by ONE woman with a special needs child wondering about the best environment to educate her child 60 years ago, before all of the research was done about children with special needs. The founder of this school was truly an innovator in the field, and it would be really neat to have a connection with this school from a career development perspective. I think I passed the section about infants too, as I didn't say any of the phrases in my previous posts. Awkward moments still abounded in this interview, because at the end of the question and answer period, the interviewers (two middle-aged women) asked me to read BROWN BEAR BROWN BEAR WHAT DO YOU SEE to them, aloud. They began acting like preschoolers, and I assume this was to gauge my reactions to the possible behaviors. Except, I wasn't just alone with the interviewers. I was in an office, with other people working in cubicles all around me. So here I am, making verbal commands to "keep your hands in your lap" and "keep your eyes on me" and walking around using PROXIMITY to control the behaviors of these middle-aged preschoolers with other folks watching. It was probably one of my most awkward interview moments I've ever had. But it was a second interview, so by then I should HOPE they already saw something they liked in my application materials and other questions. If not...I'll write it off as an experience (and material for future writings) and call it done.

2. Today, I had an interview at WAY TO GROW, for a family educator position. They wanted someone with literacy teaching experience in early childhood to serve as a school-readiness teacher in homes. They wanted someone with home visit experience. I talked about my experience as a tutor with Project for Pride in Living, I talked about my AmeriCorps experience, as well as my PCA experience with the Student Experience. I gave them what I had. I talked about my career goals, and they asked how long I planned on staying in a position if offered one. I said "as long as it took to build a solid relationship and finish what I've started." She laughed, and I finished with 5 to 10 years. What else was I supposed to say? It is a part-time job. I have no idea what I want to do with my life and skills. I talked a lot about professional development and how I am working to build the skills necessary to fit my employer's expectations. I talked about how dedicated to the mission I was. She finished with a question and answer session, and I asked some good questions, and she finished with a lecture about the next steps in the process, and I hope I am contacted for a second interview in the next two weeks. Or I will be calling back. All of these exciting opportunities lie at my finger tips.

3. In about an hour I have an interview for another part-time reading and writing tutor position with THE CITY, INC. I have no idea how their program works, but I know I do have tutoring experience. That much, I can tell them. I will update with further news as time goes on.

4. On Thursday (tomorrow) of this week, I will have an interview with THE WILDER FOUNDATION for a survey interviewer position in the St. Paul Public Schools. It runs September-December and I would be conducting assessments with students. It's definitely applicable for future reading teacher positions in schools, and would be valuable experience to have for future work.

That's all I have for now. Stay tuned for more at a later date...just getting it out there.

Best Venn Diagram EVER. Period. End of Story.

Found here.

Couldn't have said it better myself, honestly. Do you agree?

Sometimes A Girl Just Needs A Good Cry

And sometimes a good song about crying too.

Bonus that this is a HOUSE montage.

Well...

I did pick up a shift with Minneapolis Kids! Until the end of the school year, I will be working at Burroughs Elementary School from 6:30-9:30 AM every morning before joining my faithful friends at Keewaydin at 10 AM. This is the life I must lead if I wish to pursue education in Minneapolis! I must prove myself worthy of everything holy in this city. I can do this! I can't believe I agreed to this but am actually really excited about it. And I'm still working ALC until it is over in mid-May. And I'm still taking graduate courses at Hamline (7803 starts this Wednesday) and I'm going home this week for the end of Spring Break. Oh. My. Goodness. Am I going to be busy. I am swamped. I am overwhelmed. I. CAN. DO. THIS. Just so you folks know.

In other Monday news...

I found out that I will now have two tutees with College House so that's exciting. My school was on the (local) news. You can read the transcript and see some pictures here. After school activities were cancelled today due to the weather. This never happens folks. It's bad out there. As of this writing, it is no longer snowing but the wind is blowing so hard, that it is actually blowing snow off the ground and onto the roads, affecting visibility. It's a good day to curl up under two or three covers with a book and drift off to dreamland until reality hits tomorrow morning. That sounds like its going to be my night. Also, I'm really sore in the shoulders from yoga yesterday, but it feels relatively good. Must do yoga more often. just a note to self...

This week on TV

It's after five am.
I'm awake. Which means I'm watching and posting episodes of the office.
I love my life.
I love the office.
I love NBC.com.
I love hulu.com.
My life can't get much more fabulous than this. WooHoo. AmeriCorps to Teaching Temp to Associate Educator with Minneapolis Public Schools.

You need to watch this weeks OFFICE. Period. End of Story.

Noveling Madness

As some of you well know, I have taken on the challenge of writing a novel in a month. As some of you may not know, I am failing miserably. Here it is the third day of November, and I am at 963 words. LOL. If I have to arrive at 50,000 by the end of the month, I have to write 1,667 each day. That should put me at 5,001 by the end of today. Yikes.

I have never had more motivation to organize everything in my wallet, closet, kitchen, or bathroom. I have never had more motivation to NOT WRITE. There is something so daunting about 50,000 words and having them have to make sense. It's a challenge that far exceeds blogging on a regular basis. With blogging, I can make my posts random and incoherent if I wish to. If I want to do that in NaNo, I will have a harder and harder time turning it into something. Maybe I shouldn't worry about that. Maybe I should just write. Right now, I've started with something autobiographical, hoping to turn it into a chick-lit story of four girls facing the real world. I've started categorizing chapters around each girl. I have a lot of characterization. I don't have a lot of plot. For those of you who have written a novel, will plot come naturally? If I have all the characters in mind and what I want them to behave as, will plot flow into something interesting and readable as time and word count progress?

It sounds like every other piece of chick-lit novelish drek that's out there already, no? You're probably right in assuming that. But if they can do it and get rich, so can I, right? Anyone else doing NaNo this year? Anyone want to share there advice? Comisserate? Offer motivation? You are welcome to do so here. Calling you, dear readers...especially one in particular...that's YOU: EMMY @ LUCKY BALL CHARMS. Yes, now you can't escape.

A little of something...

Who am I?
I am a chick with an attitude but I don’t show it off often.
I am a chick who hates the word chick.
I love Broadway Musicals and generally everything that New York City stands for.
Minnesota, Mississippi, South Carolina, Louisiana
Where to next?
Who knows?
Only I can decide.
Who knows?