Another week drawn to a close

And it brings with it a lot of learning and overall newness and probably some transition. I am not done, as I do even more at the house this weekend. I really do enjoy learning about it so far and it will be interesting in practice. Someone told me that it's all about documentation, and man, that person wasn't kidding. You know who you are. I will be a documentation wizard by the end of this month. I also realized how many people's communication and documentation skills need work, as we had to actually practice writing incident reports today, and then swap them with our training neighbor and have them tell us what to better. Man, people just can't write. My supervisor said she was very pleased with mine and said she'd have no problems if all of my reports came in like that. LOL. I was a teacher (and almost English and Journalism major) here, remember? I guess I'm just worried about practical application now. I know I can do it, but in the real world, there just isn't a whole lot of time to sit down and think about what happened and write a detailed report, but it's all about making the time. I think I will get better at it as time goes on, and I look forward to the weekend and coming month's challenges! I also look forward to getting to know the ladies in the house, as they are known to have quite the "personality" and "a better social life than most of the staff." LOL.

It's Official at Work: They Know (and I Feel a Little more Free Now)

I sent the following to the staff today:

April 13, 2010

Dear {School Name} Staff:

I love and respect you all. You are seriously one of the best school staffs and group of co-workers I have ever worked with--so talented, professional, (and fun!)--all of you. You took me in as if I were a part of your family when I was new to the state. I must also say that I am very thankful for my time at {school name}. I have allowed myself to grow professionally and personally in ways I never would have if I hadn't have been placed here as an AmeriCorps tutor just two short years ago. Thank you for being such a supportive, caring group of individuals.

That said, I want to say that my employment at {school name} and {school district} is coming to a close. I was offered an opportunity to teach English in Seoul, South Korea and after great debate, have decided to accept. I have been looking forward to teaching English abroad for quite some time now. This is the time. It's now or never. My assignment begins May 31, 2010. I am therefore giving my two weeks' notice starting today. In order for me to prepare for my assignment overseas, I am requesting that my last day at {school name} be Friday, April 30, 2010.

This is a new adventure and chapter in my life. Of course I am thrilled. I want to keep in touch with so many of you and share my journey. Thank you for understanding my need to branch out and "spread my wings." I will miss you and the students dearly.

Yours in Service,

Recycled Art Girl
recycledartguru@gmail.com

I'm treating 2010 like any other year

Is that so wrong?

Every time I get big and lofty about my goals and ambitions for the New Year, I end up disappointing myself. So my goal for the new year is not to disappoint myself. I will set mild ambitions and try not to beat myself up when I don't come through. I am going to be gentler on myself this year. That will be the loftiest goal of all. That being said, I do have some more concrete goals to accomplish, but I am not saying them on a public forum just yet. Right, now, I'm going to work on getting a blog post up every day during the month of January. That should be goal enough, and yes, this one counts as the first one for the first year.

That is it.

Not exciting enough for you? That's great, because I'm all about pleasing me, not you. What are some goals that you have for the new year/decade? 2010 going to be your year? Why or why not?

Job Search Update

1. Completed narrative responses (essays) for Minnesota Reading Corps application and submitted it, along with the reference form link to the appropriate people. I applied for the family liaison position, because it was something that I felt I had a strong passion for but need more experience communicating with families if I am to become a successful reading specialist when the time is right.

2. Phone interview with Fraser School people for PCA positions went well, though it was only a screening interview lasting 20 minutes. Pretty sure they just wanted to make sure I had valid experience and wasn't crazy. I hope I hear from their next point person in HR next week, or I will be calling very soon.

3. Never heard back from the infant room at the St. Paul Jewish Community Center, and I'm not sure I will. I didn't have a great interview, and the director was looking for someone with more infant experience. Pretty sure I bombed the question where she asked me what I would do with a group of infants at floor time. I have to do something with them? Not just lay them on their tummies and roll a ball back and forth? Oops. Moving on.

4. Upcoming: Thursday interview at Bright Horizons, back up day care center in Woodbury. Not sure what they are looking for. I suppose I will find out. I can do anything, because I have mad skills! I can teach infants, toddlers, pre-schoolers, kinders, and beyond. Yes I can.

5. Also, I'm getting really antsy that I have not heard from any of the school district positions I have applied for yet. I know they have a lot of applications to weed through, and I know it's a slow process, but it still makes me nervous. I applied three weeks ago, and I am qualified here, people! I can do this! Just give me a change to prove my stuff. Enough said.

6. I feel like there are more positions off the Minnesota Council of Non-Profits website that I've applied for, I just don't feel like listing at the moment. I shall update them at a later date. Job searching is a full-time job, and I'm exhausted. Good thing tomorrow is Labor Day. It's one more day I can't call to follow up on any of my leads! Oh joy!

Grieving the loss of a job is still grieving...

...And I realized tonight that I am in quite a unique stage of the process.

Take the following conversation I had over g-chat with a former roommate:

Jess: woowoo! me neither! ugh. unemployment

me: ugh is right. it sucks. I skills people. mad skills.
realize that. and embrace it. and payment would be nice.

Jess: haha. you are funny tonight did you take drugs?

me: hahaha I resent that. the implication that I need drugs to be funny. LOL but it's funny. I am a funny person

Jess: i just meant you seem different than usual yes, i do agree. you have some humor skills. Add that to your resume.

I can do this! I am awesome. Hire me. Give me purpose.

NCCC revisited

8.13.06

The older people (today ours was Vick and Jean, as they had been for the last week) taught me how to play Hand and Foot (a card game with 1,000 rules that requires 5 decks of cards) and we did that until 4pm before driving back to headquarters and then home. Boy I spend a lot of time in a van lately. And I sure do hope our project turns around to the interesting side pretty soon. I suppose you can say we did do something yesterday upon arrival at our location. We (OK Joey, but I listened intently) interviewed a woman employed by the church who had a home but it was unlivable. She told us her story of being in her home and watching the water rise and getting in the Tahoe when the water was running through the house. She said that now her son lives w/her sister in Connecticut and all her FEMA money goes to help support him. The story is compounded by the fact that she went into shock and didn't "snap out of it" until March. I couldn't imagine what a person that suffers from MS and is sensitive to heat is going through in a trailer provided by FEMA for a year now. Listening to her story made angry for the people Mississippi but also angry at our project for not allowing us to do more. Can't we be out building the home? Or other houses? I feel like our time is being mismanaged.

Added after the entry: I also remember feeling more during this project that our time of service was spent helping and socializing with the elderly than helping those affected by Hurricane Katrina.

It's that time again folks...

Job hunt time. That's right. It's almost summer, which means I will be unemployed yet again. Oy. I'm really not looking forward to the cover letters, resumes, interviews, awkward first impressions, and all of the things that go with the job hunt process. I will be searching for teaching and learning jobs again, either in my district or outside. Whichever comes first. Whichever proves not to send me out on the street come July. I should be looking at this as an opportunity. I should be more positive about this. It's an opportunity to find "the perfect career" however. Every job I take (and I'm in the double digits now) puts me one step closer to finding the real me, or so I like to think. Wish me luck!

I found employment...

Here, for now. It won't be fabulous and amazing, but maybe it will. It will give me the change to explore different teaching and learning settings and play around with different age groups, while giving me close to full time work. At the same time, I'm not excited to be subbing again. However, I'm not living at home, so it might be a little better than four years ago. At the same time, it's subbing, and it's exhausting. It's always having to be "on" all the time. It's always having to take a test when at a new school or center to make sure you have employment the days and weeks after you are there. The first month will be rough, but hopefully I'll get in with a center I like and be given steady employment for the rest of the year. I'm taking this slowly, one day at a time. One minute at at a time. I will be OK. I need help. I need a career counselor. I need a mommy. Good thing I'm going home. Hee hee.

Combatting Death in the Bedroom, 20-something style

In a few days, I will be moved in and a full-resident of College Village House. I am excited about this, but a little fearful since I will effectively be living as a college undergraduate again. That's right: I will be 26 years old and live with a roommate. As in, share my room with another individual. This is something I haven't done since (excluding my AmeriCorps*NCCC days) since my junior year at UGA. It will be an adjustment, but I have faith in myself and by roommate A, so I think everything will work out.

Aside from the LOFT factor. Part of the sharing room experience includes taking my spot on the top of an IKEA loft that has yet to be cut down. This means that when I put my mattress on the loft, I am only about 12 inches from the ceiling of my room. This is flashing me back to all shades of freshman year in room 665 of Creswell Hall. I sit up, and I risk Traumatic Brain Injury by Ceiling Fan. I will post pictures soon. No joke. As far as I can see though, if I can avoid brain damage, I can be successful here. I love that will not be living with tiny tots any more, and more with people my age. I love that I will be making a difference in my community and doing something that I love to do, which is tutoring and playing with children on my terms, not ALL THE TIME like in my current situation.

I love that I am starting a grad program in Reading Education at Hamline University after Labor Day. And I love that I have yet to find a job. (Seriously, the freedom is amazing.) But the lack of cash is starting to get old. I've yet to get my accomplishment post up, and that's coming. I promise. Until then, it's off to pack. Since I have nothing else to do and need to get the hell outta dodge today. Laters.

That giddy feeling

Brought on by a haircut, yes I said a haircut, at Juut in Uptown Minneapolis. I say that because I was sporting, unaware of course, a mullet. A MULLET, friends, ON ME!?!? How does this happen? I have no idea, but I'm never going six months without a haircut again. I was MORTIFIED. Me, a MULLET? No way. That's OK. It's fixed now, and it's fabulous short, curly hair for summer. Take a look.

I haven't called in 72 hours, and I'm not married....

...so by default, I must be dead.

Seriously, folks (and by folks, I do mean the parental units):

A word to the wise: I don't HAVE to call every SUNDAY to let you know I'm alive. I am a functioning, healthy, single woman living on my own more than 1,100 miles from my hometown. It goes without saying that I talked to you on Wednesday, therefore, I can go past Sunday without talking to you again. I have no news. I do not want to be REAMED on how I need a job and a mate.

Yes, it kinda sucks that a certain someone lost his first job. However, he will GET OVER IT. Coming from someone who has cared enough and lost oh, I don't know more than two jobs post-college, yes it hurts, but he will get over it. And maybe even learn something. I'm sorry I didn't call. Or maybe I'm not. Why do I have to be sorry. I'm living my own life. My own SINGLE life. That may be difficult for you to comprehend. But it's been workin' for me so far.

I don't need your money. I like that you care. But for God's sake (or maybe someone else's since you don't believe in Him) would it kill you to care on an interval that was less than 48 or even 72 hours long? I'm struggling to make it on my own here, and contrary to popular belief I CAN do it.

You just have to BELIEVE.

And HANG UP the phone.

Thank you.

Your adoring daughter,

RECYCLED ART GIRL

Adventures in Acting, Part II

I, apparently, rocked the theater tonight, and it felt fabulous. There was laughter coming from all corners of the room. I didn’t want to look up at my teacher because out of the corner of my eye I saw her cracking up. Inside I was cracking up too, because inside I secretly knew that I never would have done this a year ago. I had a table and two chairs and I wore a skirt and tights and hiking boots. I couldn’t get a hold of my steel toes or I would have worn them. Too bad for that! I ran through it twice before show time, quivering, but I was reassured every step of the way.

“Do something with your down time!” instructs the woman in the front row.

“Are you still searching for words? Do something to fill the space…” she drones on. Easy for you to say woman! I’m trying here and I’m trying. But I never felt threatened in any way. In fact, I probably felt the most comfortable I have ever felt in front of a group of people, performing. I forgot my lines, so what! I just kept going. Clicking my pen, biting my rolled piece of paper I was using for a cigarette. Going with the flow.

It dawned on me that I’ve never “performed” in that sense of the word before. Sure I perform everyday as a fifth-grade teaching assistant. Performing, though, is so much more than that! To act is to want the eyes directly on you. For the first time tonight, I felt a small dose of that wanting.

Another revelation I came to tonight: Acting can’t be rushed. For the entire length of the class I wanted to just rush through my monologue and get off stage as fast as I could. But tonight I realized that there is so much in what is not said. That’s the DOING that my teacher had always talked about. It’s not just doing though, it’s doing and allowing people to watch you DO. It’s scarier than I’d ever imagine.

I’m coming back next session, starting April 9. I can’t wait.

The Namesake

My newest Netflix find, and an absolute gem. I know I should have read the book first, but to that I say, "meh." Absolutely beautiful, although I don't know how politically and culturally accurate it is; I found myself crying all the way through. And now I have this strange fascination with Nikolai Gogol, as in, I want to read some stuff he's written. Something tells me that I won't be able to understand it, but I want to try. So if anyone reading this post wants to recommend some Gogol, go for it and leave me a comment.

Speaking of finds, I found Educating Esme: Dairy of a Teacher's First Year in the $2 bin at the central library last week and it's a gem as well. So thoughtful, funny, candid, and heartbreaking all at once. It makes you just want to go up to Esme and hug her, and tel her that she's wonderful and to not stop doing what she's doing. Anyone who is considering teaching (or currently teaching for that matter) should read it.

I think that is all for now.

New York Update

"New York is a woman, she'll make you cry, startled by her beauty and her crime." ~Suzanne Vega

I am starting to have second thoughts on the whole New York thing. It does sound alluring, but it may not be financially possible at this point in time. I'm coming off of two years of National Service, have no savings, and no job to speak of in six months. So you said it would be free and now you are charging rent and cat sitting duties, it just doesn't sound that sweet anymore. Not without a job. Anyone know anyone in New York that can find me a job doing anything LEGAL? For money.

You know you have...when

I know I've lived in Minnesota too long when a 30-degree temperature calls for one less layer and leaving the house without a hat or gloves. It's a sauna out there!

I know I've been in AmeriCorps too long when (I can come up with a dozen of these...give me a few days to narrow it down a little.)

--I feel like I'm going to turn into either a PB&J sandwich, or a a plate of pasta because I've eaten it for two solid years

--TV? What's that?

--Let's see: I attach Ameri-to EVERYTHING

--Cross-country road trip; It's all of a sudden no big deal to drive from the south to the mid-west. Note on that: I still think I'm crazy.

I still can't get over the fact that two people in one week have called me brave, courageous, and other complementary adjectives. It's kind of hard to believe, but something tells me I just need to start believing it. Start thinking a little more positively about myself and what I'm doing.

That being said, I have to go start another week at school. Oh how I love servicing nationally.

My Circle of Hell

I could have written this article, because I lived it. It's a dangerous problem and deserves more attention than it receives. Or, shall I say, it's sufferers deserve more attention than they receive. But it's also a tricky subject to approach with someone with an eating disorder as well. Never-the-less, I'm glad someone is finally coming out with some kind of press on the issue, and in my home town as well.

Out with the old, in with the new

AS my last post of 2007, I want to keep it simple and just say:

Happy New Year!!!

Have fun, be safe, and here's to a chance for a fresh start.

Flashback

I'm looking through my stuff from college and the last half of it, and I came across my notebooks from writing class. Wow, what a treat! It's really hard believing I was this idealistic back then in my "college days." It's actually good I came across them because it's a good reminder of why I started doing what I'm doing, and they have a whole new meaning now that I've been through the ideal that I've been through with teaching and everything. I was less angry, if you can believe that. I was more excited about it too. Still, the idea comes up that I was only excited about the IDEA of teaching and having my own class. In reality, I enjoy doing what I'm doing now I whole lot more than I enjoyed teaching, so maybe that's just where I am and where I need to be right now. I will bring these notebooks back to Minneapolis with me and try to use some of these ideas in my new teaching situation. Like hte following, from my Writing Workshop book. I must have written this quote down for a reason? Right?

"If you teach kids nothing about writing all year, teach them how to re-read their writing." --the Writer's Workshop Book

And a thought I wrote down after leading a couple of WWs.

"I have not been telling my students to re-read their writing, but that's only because of time constraints. It seems like by the time they get their ideas down, its time to move on with the day." --Me

All reasons I wanted my own classroom so badly. But when I got my own classroom, I fell completely to peices. Now I enjoy NOT having my own classroom and just doing pull-out writing/reading mini-lessons.

All of these thoughts do lead to the main question that this post was leading up to...ready for it?

WHERE DO I BELONG in the teaching world?

If you can answer that, you will earn my eternal love and devotion. Because I have no money to give right now.

Mulan, Kareoke style

Courtesy of none other than YouTube, of course. I LOVE this song. Go ahead, sing at the top of your lungs!