Codependency, anyone?

(Warning: Rant Ahead)

I was watching Glee on Hulu (my favorite thing to do on a Saturday night) when I came across this song:



Don't get me wrong, I like Kelly Clarkson as much as the next person. OK, that was a lie. Actually, I don't like her at all. That's beside the point. Actually, I hate her even a little more after listening to this song. A line in the song actually states

"I know I have issues but you are pretty messed up too."

Um, if anyone actually said this to me, I'm pretty sure that would be the end of things. Ka-put. Deal breaker to end all deal breakers. Another winner lyric?

"Being with you is so dysfunctional/I really shouldn't miss you but I can't let you go."

WTF? I don't care if we belong together, if the only reason you can come up with is "well, I can't do any better than you, so I'm here because I'm lonely and desperate" then I DON'T need any of it. And neither do you. Go find something better and let me do the same. Thank you. What kind of message are we sending to girls everywhere? Kelly, I know you can do better. I may not be able to write the killer girl power song, but you've won American Idol, so you are golden. Go write something that shows that you are the strong, intelligent female I thought you were (or that I just want you to be.)

I *heart* Julia Sugarbaker (and the rest of the Designing Women cast)

Found this on Facebook/NPR today and thought it was funny. Here's the link and my rant.

http://www.npr.org/blogs/monkeysee/2009/05/a_designing_women_game_write_y.html?sc=fb&cc=fp

I would rather spend two hours sharing SPINACH DIP with TONYA HARDING than watch a woman who apparently purchased her intellect at VALUE VILLAGE for $4.82, chase twenty-five men with biceps made of TIN, and heads packed with COCOA PUFFS.

Because when future generations look upon what we have left for them, which may by then be little more than THE AMAZON DEFORESTATION and millions of non-biodegradable IPODSs, I fear they will conclude that they would have welcomed bread and circuses if only they had realized the alternative was BUGLES and JON AND KATE PLUS 8.

[sits down and crosses arms, but then immediately stands back up]

And let me tell you a little something about romance: Handing out roses like you are a mascot throwing BUTTERFINGERS to the assembled hooligans at a TWINS GAME is not my idea of romance. Romance is a man who knows the difference between JOHN KENNEDY and JOHN LENNON and who is capable of putting on a PASHMINA without scratching his head as if he is connecting a POWER CORD without the instruction manual.

So do not ask yourself why I do not particularly enjoy a television show where the assembled male candidates represent romantic prospects inferior to the workers on the night shift at the SUBWAY in BIRMINGHAM ALABAMA. Ask yourself whether, after a lifetime playing with a cultural POKEMON and dancing on the grave of ANNE SHIRLEY, you will ever...recover...your dignity.

LOVE IT!!!

Rambling random thoughts. WARNING: Incoherent post ahead

As I type this, I should be reading and typing responses to two more chapters of Mosaic of Thought. It's Saturday night. I have no motivation to do so, but I have to get going because I have no time tomorrow. Somehow I think I bit off a little more than I can chew when it comes to the whole community event planning, school, two jobs, getting along with roommates, trying to be a decent human being thing. It's just not working. I'm going insane. Why can I never find a decent balance between work and play? Why did I just use the word decent three times in one paragraph? Why do I think of a hundred other things to do when I'm supposed to be doing homework? Why do I ask so many questions? The next chapter I have to read is a chapter about questioning as a comprehension strategy. Maybe that will help me. Anyway, I'm off to make some tea and sit down to study again. Blah. I love my life. Really, I do. If I can only tweak it a little to play more and work less. Good thing we are going to the cabin next week. I will need a real weekend after this mess of a pretend weekend. Ha! Later.

I miss the days when...

it was almost a given that you had plans for fireworks and the Fourth of July. My work plans canceled themselves WITHOUT calling me (ARG) and now I'm stuck in a state I don't know and my roommates are with their families and I miss the Camp Misty Mountain days where we would head up to Chattanooga and watch fireworks over the river and I always had someone to do something with. Even last summer was a blast. I was living in Charleston working at the museum, and headed down to meet said CMM crew in Savannah, and watched fireworks over the river. Now I'm in a town with a bigger river, but it's like I didn't meet anyone this year. Gosh getting old sucks. Gosh growing up sucks worse. I guess I'll deal, and I'm sorry for the rant. Just had to get it out there to the blogging world. Anyone else feel like this?

Do you have any idea...

...how many resumes I have saved to my desktop???

I swear, since I've been on this job search thing it's like I tweak this word and twinge that word and before you know it, I have 25 or so resumes saved to the computer, all with similar names.

Before I email my resume somewhere I'm checking 20-something files to make sure this is just the one that is going to represent me BEST on paper. It's getting kind of absurd really. There has to be a better way.

There just has to be a better way!

I could have written this song, now why didn't I?

I've written everything else not useful lately. But Kimya Dawson and the Juno Soundtrack rock my world. (Or are my world, I can't tell.)


"My roller coaster's got the biggest ups and downs as long as it keeps goin' round its unbelievable"


you were on my mind at least nine tenths of yesterday
it seemed as if perhaps I'd gone insane
what is it about you that has commandeered my brain?
maybe it's your awesome songs or maybe it's the way
when I look at your face I can tell that you're not going to be stopping soon or even slowing down

and if we keep up this pace pretty soon we'll know the name of every kid and every grown up booking house shows in their town

and if home is really where the heart is
then wer're the smartest kids I know
because wherever we are in this great big world
we'll never be more than a few hours from home

and that's important because I need to travel
I've had this itchin in my shoes since I was just a little kid
and before I had a mini van I road the Greyhound bus
my mom would say "I hope some day you get paid for being Kimya Dawson"
and now I do and it's not much
but it's enough
I've got my Scrabble game, food on my plate, good friends and family
and now there's you understanding why I do the things I do
knowing that you do them too makes me really happy

The following is from a letter I wrote earlier today...

I thought it would make a neat life update this week.

...I'm still enjoying the AmeriCorps gig in Minnesota...but I am currently looking for something a little more challenging and, well, I'm a girl of practical means, so PROFITABLE. I've had it (up to here) with national service after nearly two years. I love it, but I just feel like I've done my time. I don't want to loose my ability to explore different careers and regions of the U.S./World, but I think it's time to get serious about life/work.

That requires making a commitment, which requires making a decision. All of these things require confidence. Scary scary scary stuff. I've gotten more, and recouped from that tragic Georgia teaching incident, but something like that sticks with a person. I have learned that I don't really want to work in a school. I needed this experience to tell me that, right? Work with great teachers, and seriously smart, talented, sweet kids. Love the kids, hate the environment. So many other factors involved, in that decision, but I think it's the right one for me right now. So I'm looking elsewhere.

I think I recall telling you I had a non-paid museum internship after my first year of service. I loved that, so I began looking for museum jobs up here. I'm applying for this one:

#2007-2052 TEACHER/INSTRUCTOR , Education. Occasional/Non-Exempt (10-20 hrs/wk). EEO 2. Develop and teach science enrichment classes and camps at the Science Museum. Resumes are currently being accepted for school year and/or summer positions. Responsibilities: Plan, prepare, and present science lessons at the museum. Requirements: BA/BS and teaching license in science or education. Minimum of 25 science credits or related experiences/demonstrated knowledge of science content. Classroom teaching experience. Excellent communication skills, creativity, resourcefulness, and professional attitude. Pay rate: $13.00/hr. Application deadline: Open


If I get it and like it, I might go for a masters in MUSEUM EDUCATION. Who knows. That's about all for now. I'm really scared but excited at the same time. As usual, I hope all is well with you. Have I mentioned it's cold here? -4F today. Yikes!


Ideas, opinions, sharing welcome. I always enjoy your feedback!

Summer in Ohio

From THE LAST 5 YEARS. This is my new obsession. Are you going slightly batty 40 miles east of Cinncanatti? I know that's kind of a metaphor for my holiday week at home. I'm 35 miles west of Atlanta, and while I do have access to cable and the web, I don't have a sense of independence, which is why I moved to MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA. I love this song because it shows how desparate I feel right now. I'm also a little angry for reasons I have only yet to figure out. So bear with me, and I will figure something out. Maybe I AM doing something right!

Geography quiz

I just did the state count and realized I've been to approximately 26 states in my lifetime thus far. I'm pushing 26 years old, so I guess this means that I've been to roughly a state in a year. Not to shabby, eh? And when did I start talking like a Canadian, eh? How many states have you been to?

To many...

decisions, resolutions, changes, year-end general cleaning up and maintenance to do. No, I don't want to go to grad school if I'm not truly sure it is what I want to do. But I don't want my two years worth of education award from AmeriCorps to go to waste either.

No, sitting home ALONE on a Saturday night does not usually lead to good thoughts about anything, particularly not such heady things as what my future will hold in three or four years from now. But I think, because that's what I do. I think and then I write. And it's not always coherent writing. But that's OK.

Do the JET Programme? Sure, I certainly know two people that have done it and loved every minute of it. And I certainly know someone in Japan too! It might be cool to be close to my long time pen pal again. But it's such a risk! I can do it, and there shouldn't be anything to loose there, and it would be quite the experience.

I need to gather more information.

That's the bottom line here people. More information needed.

Back to the Grindstone

Tomorrow I head back to the Twin Cities for the final crunch of the year. I'm excited to be going back, I really am. It was nice to come home, but really, there is nothing here in Atlanta for me anymore. Aside from the few friends I have here and my immediate family, there is nothing to do here and nothing keeping me here. I will miss my mom, dad, Sam, Emily, Alisha, and others that once resided here, but it really is time to move ahead. I need to establish who I am and who the greater world intended me to be. I know it intended me to be something other than what I am now. And I need to establish this far, far away from here.

When I fly out of this city tomorrow morning, I will set some goals for myself. I'm not quite sure what those goals should be, but I will come up with them and write them in my more personal journal. I don't know how much of those of those goals I want to smear all over the world wide web. I'll decide and get back here to report my decision. I also have a laundry list a mile long of things I need to do for school on Monday. I'm trying not to stress out about it or think about it until I get to work. I need to separate work and play more, I know this. But I also need to be a lot more organized about my after school art class that I'm teaching and I need to invest in an apron for said class. I need to write more by hand just for me, and spend less time on the Internet wasting time avoiding writing. I need to do more things just for me. And I need to work on goal setting strategies and sticking to them consistently.

I need a mission statement for my life. Anyone want to help me draft one?

Quarterlife, You Tube style

Not that I'm whiny, but this show can only be seen on the web and sums up everything that my generation supposedly stands for. What's more, is it's mildly entertaining. Go here for more information. Then click play for part one of the series.



I really liked the line where Dylan says "The sad truth about our generation is that we were all geniuses in elementary school but the people that deal with us never got our transcripts..."

What is wrong with my generation? Are we just too needy? Do we just need to shut up and get a job? Obviously I don't think so. What do you think. Comments welcome.