House Fires (A Lyrics Post)

 House Fires 

Spencer LaJoye 

Lyrics found here: https://spencerlajoye.bandcamp.com/track/house-fires-2

Mom was scared of house fires, so we would make a list
of the things we might save with little arms and little fists
We'd carry all our choices down the stairs and out the door
to the mailbox at the bottom of our hill beside the road

Dad would grab the rolodex and family photo tin
I would grab my puppy and my brand new violin
But on the night you burned, and I fled to the car,
I only took my toothbrush and a cell phone charger

Carry an umbrella, and it'll never rain
Build a house beside a lake, and it won't go up in flames
We dug each other's graves so we wouldn't die alone
And we planned a great escape from this world to one our own

You would grab the animals and our most expensive gin
I would grab the vinyls, your best shoes, my violin
But on the night you burned, and my back hit the wall,
I ran with blistered hands and no plan at all

And I drove with whiskey in my blood, with blurried double vision
I left with no religion, every breath a new decision,
saying, "tear yourself away, my love, from what could never happen.
You need to let her burn before you consecrate the ashes."

I'm afraid of house fires, so help me make a list
of things we might save, should it ever come to this
Let's keep it simple, just one thing a piece
If I carry you, will you carry me?

I discovered this artist at UUCA when Plowshare Prayer was performed. I went on a deep dive and found this gem and I can't stop listening to the haunting lyrics. To me, it's speaker recounts a fear of her mother and what she did to prepare for that fear. That's a particular event to be afraid of. I can't think of a single person in my childhood who was afraid of their home burning down, but as homeowners, we have witnessed two house fires in our neighborhood and both were very fast and very scary for for the neighbors and us. It happens. But who does it happen to? Does it happen to the careless? It can really happen to anyone. And this particular song addresses the unpredictable nature of such an event. As much as the family prepares for the worst, when it does happen, all plans go out the window and she's left holding a toothbrush and a charger for a cell phone. No mention of the cell phone and no toothpaste. So two things are very useless without their accompanying pieces. Life happens. And I'm also left wondering the story behind the young girl's family. Because I'm doing so much of my recovery from loving an addict work, I'm wondering if her family is one of addicts or alcoholics as well. Is it unpredictable because of addiction, is that what caused the fire, or is it unpredictable because life is unpredictable? 

Then she flashes forward to life as an adult with her own, assumed, romantic partner. She has developed her own fear of housefires? Or is housefires merely a metaphor for losing everything? A symbol of loss of all that is valuable in life? Is she truly afraid of housefires? Or is she afraid to lose everything she's worked so hard for in life? Then she talks about driving drunk and blurred vision. And don't leave me. Such a sad, haunting song but so beautiful. ''

Maybe I need to start a blog featuring songs that aren't about addiction and how it affects the family, but I end up interpreting it that way because of how I see the world now.