"Well, if faced with a floor full of babies, I would...dance a jig and hope for the best? Talk about Sesame Street and how awesome it is to be able to talk?"
"Well, what do you want me to do with a floor full of babies? Quote Shakespeare?" Discuss Homer and the Odyssey? You can never teach them too early!"
OR, one last shot in the dark here:
"Your Baby Can Read. That's what we would be doing. Your Baby Can Read, Theory Hegemonic decline, classic lit--you know, the usual."
Because everyone knows I'M THAT AWESOME.