Monday, June 1st, 2026
The writing prompt for next Wednesday's sessions is: When Knowing is Not Enough
When someone close to us faces a major challenge, whether it is alcoholism, or something else, it is quite common for us to do lots of research and learn everything we can about what has afflicted our loved. But no matter how much we learn, it is also quite common that the person with the challenge doesn't want to hear about it from us. Certainly this often applies to a partner suffering from alcoholism, but you can expand your lens and write about other relationships, too. For example, Sheri tried to share what she has learned about health with her mother, but her mother refused to learn from her own daughter.
It is painful to seek and gain valuable knowledge only to have a loved one refuse to listen or learn.
We all have experiences with this in various relationships. Pick one, and please write about how it feels, and any resulting consequences.
When knowing is not enough.
This seems simple at first glance. I knew the alcohol was a problem. I refused to say anthing about it. I knew I didn't like drinking. I didn't say anything. I let him have his fun. I had a little along the way. I knew it was getting worse, I chose not to say anything. I knew getting sober wasn't going to be the end of our problems, but I didn't know how that would look.
I did a lot of research. Most of us do. I listened to a lot of podcasts, YouTube videos, Instagram reels, TikToks, etc. about addiction, addiction recovery, partners of alcoholics, what alcohol does to the brain and body, dry drunk syndrome, you name it. I liked the logic of it. Almost burnt out on research and facts, I forgot to listen to how my body feels. Was I disresepected? Sure.
How does my body feel knowing I was disrespected and still am being disrespected daily? I have no idea. Knowing IS not enough. It never is. Action is always what it takes. What should I act on first though? I KNOW I need to stand up and say what hurts my feelings in the moment. I don't because it has traditionally been what has kept me safe. My coping mechanism has always been to shut my mouth and keep working. It's worked to a point, until it doesn't anymore.
I know this is where I am now. Having done all the research, knowing I don't feel happy, and having to take some action. Having to say my true feelings. Having to say I'm not happy, outloud to someone that won't react well. I know that part is scary. I know my body won't react well.
It hasn't been that bad, I can keep doing what I'm doing for two more years, one more, year, six more months, then some random point I mark with some random time and space marker. I know I convince myself the problem is me. I do this because it's been said to me so many times it has worked.
I know that I should just go and say what I mean. I know I should say that I don't feel like being myself in my house out loud in front of him. I don't because I know I will feel backlash and unsafe after I do. I know how I feel. I don't know how to say how I feel. I know what to do. I don't know how to do it. I know how much I don't know what I want to know. Does that even make sense?
He refuses to listen. He's sober so everything is OK and that is not OK with me. I can't say that. That is what I know. It's so frustrating. I know I need to process all of my resentments but I have no desire to do so BECAUSE he has no desire to listen to that. People will tell me you have to just pull off the bandaid but they don't know what the relationship is like. They don't have to live in the home. It really is the best for my emotional safety right now.
I did tell him I was going to Nashville this weekend and got no reaction. I did tell him that I would like him to come to my mom's 70th birthday lunch, and I don't know how that will go but I'll use it as a test. I know I don't know shit, and that is just not enough.
