"It's Under F, for Foreigner..."

says Hanna Teacher at our first Korean lesson Thursday night.

I don't know why I found this so funny, but it kind of sums up my life right now. File this one under F for Foreigner. And S for Stupid. No, just kidding about the last one.

I can't believe I've been in Korea for just over a month now. What happened to the time? It just flew away. Sure enough, there is a section in the Kilbo bookstore labeled F. That's where all the books printed in English are. No. Joke. I find this hilarious too. This is where I found my Korean for Starters book that I studied for over 2 hours today. Just basic consonants and vowels, nothing major, but wow this language is harder than I thought. My next lesson with the group is Tuesday. I'm beyond pumped.

I also had a foray out into the public on Thursday, and another one on Saturday. Thursday night after the Korean Lesson, I thought everyone was tired enough to go home and go to bed. I certainly was. But we ended up finding a cozy little joint in a new neighborhood to see the last twenty minutes of the Korea v. Argentina game (they lost) and be befriended by a local man who wouldn't stop buying beers. I was not in any mood to drink (having a cold and being exhausted) but that didn't stop anyone else. This man didn't speak any English, but that didn't stop him from mocking my decision not to drink. I'm pretty sure I was made fun of in a foreign language. Yup. Check that one off the life list. It was a pretty awkward experience had by all. I suppose I have many more of these to come as I stay in this foreign land for 11 more months. It's bound to happen sooner rather than later.

This week at work brought an interesting experience as well. A day known as picture day. One would think this would be relatively simple too. English teacher stands in the middle of the back row of two rows, 10 students line up in two lines, and the picture is snapped. Right? Wrong. These are one by one photos. Meaning, English teacher squats awkwardly next to one student as she pretends to read, and teacher pretends to help sound out words. No actual reading involved. And we took 20 minutes of class time to do this with 10 students. I haven't seen the photos yet, but I'm pretty sure I look pretty awkward in all of them. It's pretty amazing just how foreign this land can be sometimes.

Saturday night was Alex Teacher's birthday, so we all decided to go out semi-western style. Dinner at a pizza/pasta joint north of the river (which I prefer to south of the river I figured out) and drinks/socialization at a few western or semi-western establishments. One in Itawon (which is the foreign mecca I learned, the military base is there) so the first place we went to was a Canadian pub that had a World Cup game broadcast in ENGLISH! It was refreshing to hear for once.

Then we went to a louder place south of the river closer to where we live. I prefer to stay away from these joints. For one, you can still smoke in bars here, which makes it miserable for us nonsmokers. Second, they're incredibly loud, and while I don't do this scene much in the states, why would I start here? I mean, I'm glad I did do this for the experience and it was nice to see co-workers in a non-work atmosphere and socialize a little bit and blow off some crazy Korean workaholic steam, I don't think this will be a weekly occurrence. I've got to find some friends to pal around with in other ways that are more fun for ME.

Things I'm looking forward to this week:
1. My next Korean language class
2. Giving monthly tests in two classes makes it a relatively light teaching week because I only have to review the test material in those classes. Not so much prep.
3. No more phone interviews! (for another month, I suppose!)
4. Starting a new unit in both Kindergarten classes (means new songs! and new material!) Horray for teacher not being bored in class! Don't worry, I don't show it too badly!
5. Friday. Enough said. This place is crazy. I look forward to another weekend to myself to sight see around a bit.

I poem I just heard....and like

I love Garrison Keillor and The Writer's Almanac. I miss Minnesota dearly. Thank God for podcasts and the internet. Compulsively Allergic to the Truth
by Jeffrey McDaniel
I'm sorry I was late. I was pulled over by a cop for driving blindfolded with a raspberry-scented candle flickering in my mouth. I'm sorry I was late. I was on my way when I felt a plot thickening in my arm. I have a fear of heights. Luckily the Earth is on the second floor of the universe. I am not the egg man. I am the owl who just witnessed another tree fall over in the forest of your life. I am your father shaking his head at the thought of you. I am his words dissolving in your mind like footprints in a rainstorm. I am a long-legged martini. I am feeding olives to the bull inside you. I am decorating your labyrinth, tacking up snapshots of all the people who've gotten lost in your corridors.

Phone tests

Another assessment tool this particular hogwon uses to test children as young as five years old is the phone test. They do this so that parents can hear their children speaking English over the phone. It creates more work for me, and was one more reason why I was at school until 9pm this week. I prepare questions that we have been going over in class and call the student at home and ask them. There's only one problem. All of the visual cues that I have in the classroom are not there. How many five year old Korean kids are used to talking on the phone to their teacher? Yeah, it's weird. It was a weird experience for all.

A phone conversation would go like this:

Me: What is your favorite animal?
Kid: ... silence....
Me: not knowing what else to do but repeat myself...What is your favorite animal?
Kid: It's a turtle.
Me: What kind of animal is a turtle?
Kid: Silence. silence. More silence.
Me: What kind of animal is a turtle? Is it a mammal?
Kid: A turtle is a reptile.
Me: Good! Why is a turtle a reptile.
Kid: Because it has dry skin. (This is one of our speaking points.)
Me: Good.
Me: What time do you get up?
Kid: I get up at 1 o'clock.
Me: (Thinking this is wrong, but it's in perfect English so I'll let it go.)

And so on and so on until I have tested all 20 of my kindergarteners. I get to phone call the second graders next week. Oh joy!

Week Three Down

I know I should do an update to commemorate my third week in Korea, but honestly not much has changed. I still work long hours, I don't get out much. We found awesome Indian food near our apartment building and I had to turn in my lesson plans for my all day class five times before they told me they were OK. What kills me is the secrecy of this place. It's dawning on me more and more that English Hogwons are businesses more than schools, and that every decision made by upper management (AKA the Korean teachers/coordinators) is made from a business stand point rather than an educational one. What should be done in this situation is always answered with "What would make the parents happier so that they refer more students to our school?"

I think this was what was going on this week with my Kindergarten class. A parent called and said there was too much homework, so instead of OKing my HW plan like they did the week before (with three assignments per night) they revised it so that they only had to do two assignments per night. What they don't realize though is that HW affects the entire week's lesson plan, because whatever we do in class the kids copy for HW. So by chopping my HW plan to pieces, it causes me to rearrange my entire weekly lesson plan as well. Also, everything has to be done in the EXACT SAME ORDER as the day before. I thought I could get away with moving it around a little, especially after lunch, but NO. I'm growing bored of what I'm teaching and it's only the fourth week.

I'm the kind of person that needs reasons why I do things. This is the kind of place/school that doesn't like to give reasons. Just do this. OK. This will last for a while, and then they'll tell me to do this. It doesn't make a lot of sense. But I suppose then again it doesn't have to. Nothing is making a lot of sense lately. I suppose this is the culture shock talking. The Koreans want teacher's reports already, and while I've only known these students three weeks, I don't feel equipped to do reports on them without making something up out of thin air. Which I suppose all of the other teachers are doing just fine and don't have a problem with it. I just think too much and make everything more complicated. URG. Why do I have to be such a thinker? For Pete's Sake. Just do it. Don't ask questions.

I shouldn't complain though. I'm being compensated well, and I have little expenses. I can do anything for a year. The whole experience is making me realize that maybe I do want to move on and move up after this year. Maybe I do want to try my hand at teaching adults for a change. Maybe I want to go back to graduate school in a different field. I have no idea. It's intimidating when I think about it to think that I can do anything. Cost won't be a factor either.

I also need to work on taking that ONE class I need for Minnesota teaching certification. But if I'm not going to be teaching K-12, then I find it kind of pointless. But from an "I need a job" perspective when I get back to the states, it better happen. I better make it work.

I do want most of my experiences here to be not about work too. I want to find somethings to do that don't revolve around teaching children. While taking a walk around the lake this weekend was good, I need more than that. I need to go hiking in the mountains. I want to sign up for a Tae Kwon Do class and some language classes. The English teachers are talking about using their end-of-July vacation to go to Thailand, and I just might join them if my bank account gets set up in time to put my first month's salary in it.

Somethings have to change around here if I'm going to stay sane. That much I know. I'm fine. Really, I am. Just whining.

Here's a thought that's been resonating with me lately

"But now old friends are acting strange
They shake their heads; they say I've changed
Well something's lost and something's gained
In living everyday" ~Joni Mitchell, Both Sides Now

This is my new acquisition: His name is Gus

Isn't he cute?

Second Week Down

Second week is down and left me with a Friday night at 9:15 pm at school.

There's just so much to do. I end up prepping all week for Kindergarten that I don't get my weekly tests they want me to give done until last minute. I did get it all done, and now it's all in the delivery. Class continues to go well, if not a little repetitive. I suppose that's me being selfish though. They say that when you are learning a second language repetition is key, but if I have to sing "What are you doing/I'm playing a game/watch what I do/and then do the same" one more time with my K7A class I'm going to scream.

Same thing with the second graders. They are set to do two units a week, but every week it's the SAME PAGES in their text book and workbook. Practice speaking, practice speaking, practice speaking the SAME PHRASE over and over and over again. That's what I signed on to do though.

Me: What do you do after school? (This is our target language for this week.)
Kid: I (pause) stu- sud- sku
Me: Study?
Kid: Study!
Me: What do you study?
Kid: I studies English.
Me: I study English.
Kid: Yes.
Director: (who is always standing in the back of this class) REPEAT!!! (In scary Korean accent.)
Kid: (timidly) I........study.......English.
Me: Perfect. (Award star.)

Next kid. Same thing. Now I'm starting to see why class sizes are limited to nine kids.

When I think about it, this is exactly what happened in my Spanish class in high school. We'd have a textbook with conversational phrases in it, the teacher would introduce a lesson, have us practice speaking the target phrases to her, and then have us practice with a partner. Students would ALWAYS try to get away with only writing or reading silently, but the teacher would always be calling on kids to speak. This is exactly what I see as a teacher. Funny how that works.

On another notes, I like that all the kids have English names for the purpose of learning English. I was afraid that in coming over here I would have to learn some serious Korean nicknames for children. But no, all the children choose their own English name upon registering at this particular Hogwon. There are lots of Dorothys, Sallys, Jessicas, Thomases and Joshuas here, which are names I haven't heard in America in a long time. 6

I did hear from my recruiter too, who was so obviously checking up on my performance. She had a good report though. Apparently, my director thinks I am doing a good job for my first week officially on the job and also said that "I am a very sweet person." Awww. I have a reputation to uphold. Damn. And I thought I could get away with completely changing my image. As the G6B sixth graders like to say because they just learned this particular slang, "Fiddlesticks!"

I own a bunny now too. Pictures and more posts to come. Stay tuned.