Thursday, July 23, 2009

More walks down memory lane...

In honor of my third anniversary of NCCC, I am posting more of my journal entries from that year. I sent this out to my team as a reminder, and it's amazing how much I've changed since then. Also, I really appreciate how others on the team (Thanks, Jill) have responded with their own journal entries from that period and how stunningly similar we all seemed, though we seemed so different back then. Perspective is a powerful tool.

Tonight's segment brought to you by PROZAC. Can you tell that I was in desperate need of some upon writing these?

8/2/06 11:50pm

CTI is drawing to a close and still so much to do, I feel almost overwhelmed. I do feel much close to my teammates but I feel like I will continue to grow closer still. Silver 7 is such an amazing mix of personalities. I'm sure we will all learn just as much from each other as we will from the people we will be serving. Spike trips have been moved until Monday due to Hurricane Chris and we're all pretty bummed about it, just because we are so freakin' excited about actually going somewhere and doing a real live project. We're scheduled to spend a week in Tallahassee with the Florida Trails Association building trails and then six weeks in Biloxi (living in Waveland) doing disaster relief volunteer management with the Harrison County long-term recovery committee. Don't really know what we are doing, but I"m sure we will find out soon enough. It will just be really hard to remain calm while "going with the flow." Gave blood today, and will attempt to run the Ameri-5K tomorrow. We'll see about that. I really wanted to give though.

8/4/06 12:50am

In the third floor lounges of 669 watching THE SANDLOT before getting up early to leave for Florida at 7am. Bringing back wicked good memories and bad memories. Such a great and under appreciated movie, I think. I volunteered to drive first tomorrow, don't ask me why. Spent today at Our Lady of Mercy Community Outreach Center sorting clothes in the donation room for 8 hours (good ISP start, I'd say.) I'm still working on asserting my true identity without committing any verbal assaults. I made a comment about sorority slut barbie today upon seeing a particularly scanty tank top/skirt outfit and I don't think Jill appreciated it. I felt really bad about it, but it is something I am really used to doing at UGA with Emily and Alisha and Danielle. It makes me slightly homesick to realize that I can't make my normal jokes. It really is in good, clean fun, and I had forgotten Jill telling me she was in a sorority but the moment I made the comment I instantly regretted it. I didn't say anything after she told me it wasn't fair, and that was the end of that. where was the sense of humor? I miss my friends at home who honestly would have laughed at that comment and realized the absurd reality that is the Greek world. Here no one understands me, and I don't really understand my teammates. But, the important thing is we are trying. We're dancing around each other, but we are TRYING to become closer. WE are about to subject ourselves to a 9+ hour van ride in a 15-passenger van. We have to try if we don't want to make ourselves miserable. I'm frustrated at myself for not being as good, smart, witty, etc. as any of them, but I can't let them know. It will only make things worse between us. So I hold it all inside, how bitter at the world I feel, how rejected I feel, but I won't let them know...

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