"I joined AmeriCorps to make a difference, but these decimal points are a pain in the ass!" LOL. Can definitely relate.
Showing posts with label Ameri-everything. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ameri-everything. Show all posts
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Saturday, October 10, 2009
I might have just landed myself a job, people!
People have been saying for years that it helps to have connections in the job search process. Well, today, I believe it with all of my heart. After TWO MONTHS of sending out resumes and cover letters into the abyss, meeting with hiring managers and principals, agency heads and teachers, I received a call yesterday from a former supervisor of mine from my corps member days.
"What are you doing these days?" asks he.
"I am actually looking for full-time work at the moment." says I.
"When are you available to start?" asks he.
"Immediately, the teachers would love to have you back." he replies.
So yeah, I basically got a job because I knew the teachers that were looking for an assistant. The job was never posted, and I had my name and number in the hands of the principal and AP. That's sheer job-search luck folk, and a timing issue. But am I complaining? Heck no. I'm happy for the opportunity, and more than THRILLED to be going back to my AmeriCorps school site. It's like going home all over again. Seriously, these are the people that welcomed me in to the state of Minnesota when I was such a newcomer. I feel like they are my second family. It will be great to work with all of them again. It will be great to see and work with these kids (all grown up now as fifth graders!) again in a different light. I am pumped.
I know for sure on Monday what the details are. Until then, be at peace!
"What are you doing these days?" asks he.
"I am actually looking for full-time work at the moment." says I.
"When are you available to start?" asks he.
"Immediately, the teachers would love to have you back." he replies.
So yeah, I basically got a job because I knew the teachers that were looking for an assistant. The job was never posted, and I had my name and number in the hands of the principal and AP. That's sheer job-search luck folk, and a timing issue. But am I complaining? Heck no. I'm happy for the opportunity, and more than THRILLED to be going back to my AmeriCorps school site. It's like going home all over again. Seriously, these are the people that welcomed me in to the state of Minnesota when I was such a newcomer. I feel like they are my second family. It will be great to work with all of them again. It will be great to see and work with these kids (all grown up now as fifth graders!) again in a different light. I am pumped.
I know for sure on Monday what the details are. Until then, be at peace!
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
NCCC revisited
8.13.06
The older people (today ours was Vick and Jean, as they had been for the last week) taught me how to play Hand and Foot (a card game with 1,000 rules that requires 5 decks of cards) and we did that until 4pm before driving back to headquarters and then home. Boy I spend a lot of time in a van lately. And I sure do hope our project turns around to the interesting side pretty soon. I suppose you can say we did do something yesterday upon arrival at our location. We (OK Joey, but I listened intently) interviewed a woman employed by the church who had a home but it was unlivable. She told us her story of being in her home and watching the water rise and getting in the Tahoe when the water was running through the house. She said that now her son lives w/her sister in Connecticut and all her FEMA money goes to help support him. The story is compounded by the fact that she went into shock and didn't "snap out of it" until March. I couldn't imagine what a person that suffers from MS and is sensitive to heat is going through in a trailer provided by FEMA for a year now. Listening to her story made angry for the people Mississippi but also angry at our project for not allowing us to do more. Can't we be out building the home? Or other houses? I feel like our time is being mismanaged.
Added after the entry: I also remember feeling more during this project that our time of service was spent helping and socializing with the elderly than helping those affected by Hurricane Katrina.
The older people (today ours was Vick and Jean, as they had been for the last week) taught me how to play Hand and Foot (a card game with 1,000 rules that requires 5 decks of cards) and we did that until 4pm before driving back to headquarters and then home. Boy I spend a lot of time in a van lately. And I sure do hope our project turns around to the interesting side pretty soon. I suppose you can say we did do something yesterday upon arrival at our location. We (OK Joey, but I listened intently) interviewed a woman employed by the church who had a home but it was unlivable. She told us her story of being in her home and watching the water rise and getting in the Tahoe when the water was running through the house. She said that now her son lives w/her sister in Connecticut and all her FEMA money goes to help support him. The story is compounded by the fact that she went into shock and didn't "snap out of it" until March. I couldn't imagine what a person that suffers from MS and is sensitive to heat is going through in a trailer provided by FEMA for a year now. Listening to her story made angry for the people Mississippi but also angry at our project for not allowing us to do more. Can't we be out building the home? Or other houses? I feel like our time is being mismanaged.
Added after the entry: I also remember feeling more during this project that our time of service was spent helping and socializing with the elderly than helping those affected by Hurricane Katrina.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Can you believe that there was a time I wrote this much?
This is another one of the posts where I take a look back to NCCC. This is actually getting quite fun to do, believe it or not.
8/12/06
I suppose everyone needs a lazy day now and then. That's exactly what today was. And it did feel good. No PT, no ISP, no any other useless acronym loved by our wonderful federal government. We are now in Waveland, MS enjoying a few days off. A bunch of us are going to a block party in Bay St. Louis tonight, and they are ready to go now, so I am going to sign off for now and complete the entry later...
8/13/06
So our team has arrived in Waveland, Mississippi and has enjoyed a weekend off settling into our Quanset huts and cots, going to the "block party" in Bay St. Louis, and seeing Taladega Nights today and going to the bookstore. I think we are eagerly awaiting our first day of work at Harrison County Long Term Recovery Committee for our orientation tomorrow. I don't know how I feel about office work either. Half of me says I'd rather be doing the physical labor work that so desperately needs to be done down here, but the other half of me says that I'm smart to be avoiding the heat and if there really is work that needs to be done in this office than maybe we are the people that need to be doing it. And it did occur to me recently that it might be nice to "hide behind a computer" and appease my introverted side for a few weeks.
I'm trying to tell myself so frequently to take days one at a time and soak up every moment possible from that day. I might come out with some pretty sweet skills at the end of this (volunteer management, data entry, office database stuff, etc.) but I can't let me get ahead of myself. There is so much to absorb her, starting with our drive to our housing on Friday (our month anniversary as a team, btw, of which we celebrated with a gov't.-funded dinner at the local Chinese buffet, yum!)
But driving to our housing we continued on the road we turned onto after turning of I-10 until said road (I can't remember the name now) come to a T-end with a road running parallel alongside a beach. the beach is unswimmable due to debris in the water, a sign warns. I don't really see the debris from the a car, though. we drive a few mils along the beach before turning right at a church (or what used to be a church but is now a quanset hut not unlike the ones that comprise our current living/dining quarters for the month.)
A sign reads "Katrina was big but GOD is bigger." Running along the beach today (Sunday morning) I marveled at the traffic coming to and from the hut that makes the sanctuary of the church. It's still going strong, with no physical permanent structure, almost a year after the Great Storm. The "camp" we're staying is called "Camp Sunshine" and was created as classrooms to the church, but the church is letting AmeriCorps members use them for the time we are here. They feel like tents, w/air conditioning, and I am slowly getting used to the cots. I had to assemble cot #2 after the first night of squeaking and almost impaling myself on one of the springs.
Cot #2 is much sturdier and w/the matress pad it's rally not much worse than the tent beds at camp that I slept in for 6-weeks running during any given summer. Good Stuff. I just can't move much while I sleep. I'll learn to adjust. I actually like it a lot BECAUSE it reminds me of camp. No e-mail or cell phone to worry about, clothes sprawled out beside my cot and only my book and journal and letter-writing stuff to worry about. It's great. I just hope our work matches up and is equally fulfilling.
I find myself getting into moments where I have to stop and think "who knew last year that in a year I'd see myself living in a 15-passenger van w/10 other people having amazing experiences helping fix whatever ails the country?" and then I have to pinch myself for fear of this all being a dream. But it's not, and so I have to stop and admit that this is the happiest I've been in a year. No matter how nervous I am or can get around my teammates, I really can't ask for a better opportunity. So I am about to embark upon 9 more months. Of learning. Of fun. Of happiness and responsibility. Of wonder. Those are some hefty expectations.
This is my journal. This is my journey. I don't know where this journey will lead, but I'm going to let my gut lead me, metaphorically. This is my journey...I'm excited!!!
8/12/06
I suppose everyone needs a lazy day now and then. That's exactly what today was. And it did feel good. No PT, no ISP, no any other useless acronym loved by our wonderful federal government. We are now in Waveland, MS enjoying a few days off. A bunch of us are going to a block party in Bay St. Louis tonight, and they are ready to go now, so I am going to sign off for now and complete the entry later...
8/13/06
So our team has arrived in Waveland, Mississippi and has enjoyed a weekend off settling into our Quanset huts and cots, going to the "block party" in Bay St. Louis, and seeing Taladega Nights today and going to the bookstore. I think we are eagerly awaiting our first day of work at Harrison County Long Term Recovery Committee for our orientation tomorrow. I don't know how I feel about office work either. Half of me says I'd rather be doing the physical labor work that so desperately needs to be done down here, but the other half of me says that I'm smart to be avoiding the heat and if there really is work that needs to be done in this office than maybe we are the people that need to be doing it. And it did occur to me recently that it might be nice to "hide behind a computer" and appease my introverted side for a few weeks.
I'm trying to tell myself so frequently to take days one at a time and soak up every moment possible from that day. I might come out with some pretty sweet skills at the end of this (volunteer management, data entry, office database stuff, etc.) but I can't let me get ahead of myself. There is so much to absorb her, starting with our drive to our housing on Friday (our month anniversary as a team, btw, of which we celebrated with a gov't.-funded dinner at the local Chinese buffet, yum!)
But driving to our housing we continued on the road we turned onto after turning of I-10 until said road (I can't remember the name now) come to a T-end with a road running parallel alongside a beach. the beach is unswimmable due to debris in the water, a sign warns. I don't really see the debris from the a car, though. we drive a few mils along the beach before turning right at a church (or what used to be a church but is now a quanset hut not unlike the ones that comprise our current living/dining quarters for the month.)
A sign reads "Katrina was big but GOD is bigger." Running along the beach today (Sunday morning) I marveled at the traffic coming to and from the hut that makes the sanctuary of the church. It's still going strong, with no physical permanent structure, almost a year after the Great Storm. The "camp" we're staying is called "Camp Sunshine" and was created as classrooms to the church, but the church is letting AmeriCorps members use them for the time we are here. They feel like tents, w/air conditioning, and I am slowly getting used to the cots. I had to assemble cot #2 after the first night of squeaking and almost impaling myself on one of the springs.
Cot #2 is much sturdier and w/the matress pad it's rally not much worse than the tent beds at camp that I slept in for 6-weeks running during any given summer. Good Stuff. I just can't move much while I sleep. I'll learn to adjust. I actually like it a lot BECAUSE it reminds me of camp. No e-mail or cell phone to worry about, clothes sprawled out beside my cot and only my book and journal and letter-writing stuff to worry about. It's great. I just hope our work matches up and is equally fulfilling.
I find myself getting into moments where I have to stop and think "who knew last year that in a year I'd see myself living in a 15-passenger van w/10 other people having amazing experiences helping fix whatever ails the country?" and then I have to pinch myself for fear of this all being a dream. But it's not, and so I have to stop and admit that this is the happiest I've been in a year. No matter how nervous I am or can get around my teammates, I really can't ask for a better opportunity. So I am about to embark upon 9 more months. Of learning. Of fun. Of happiness and responsibility. Of wonder. Those are some hefty expectations.
This is my journal. This is my journey. I don't know where this journey will lead, but I'm going to let my gut lead me, metaphorically. This is my journey...I'm excited!!!
Friday, July 24, 2009
More Walking Down a Lane Called "Memory"
8/10/06
10:35 pm
I realize it has been almost a week since I last sat down to journal, but so much has happened in the past week and I've loved every minute of it, honestly. OK, maybe not all of it, but I'm feeling very sentimental and mushy now facing the end of our team's first official spike project in Florida. I sit and write this tonight from the couch (my bed) in our modular home (trailer) in the middle of fu&$ing no where (somewhere between Tallahassee and Crawfordsville, FL.) I loved every moment of hiking the Florida Natural Scenic Trail w/Paint Gallon in hand, re-blazing and lopping branches, sweat pouring out from places on my body I never would have thought sweat could come from. Abby sits on her couch across the room crocheting, trying desperately to get her stitches even, she just informed me that her scarf beginning is straight as a board. (I really do love that kid.) Kenny sits in the armchair reading the DaVinci Code, and nNathan is on the other side of the couch reading Conan O'Brien's Commencement Speech that Joey printed from the Internet this evening while in town, while drinking Dr. Pepper, of course. The others are packing furiously getting ready to embark on our big trip to Mississippi. We are getting to be one big family. we all come to collapse in the family room after a long day of trail work (building a boardwalk and maintaining trails.) We cook for each other, make sure we aren't in each other's personal space, we're starting to look out for each other, and encourage each other to get up off our asses Mon. and Wed. afternoons for our required hours of PT. Do you know how hard it is to do an hour of running/strength-training/soccer at 5pm after 6 hours of trail work/construction in the Florida summer heat? I keep saying it's good for me! It'll make me stronger! I hope I'm right.
Galvanized nails are hard (as nails--haha!) to nail into a 2x8 piece of plywood. I kept bending them, but on the second day I got the hang of it and nailed in 4 in a row with no problem at all. Sweet! Made me feel mreally good about things/life in general. Our spike site was an hour drive from our worksite, so that was a pain, but it did help us get a feel for what we're in this program for. On the way back from the laundry mat tonight I had a thought and I was startled by the fact tha for a year I will basically be living out of a red bag and and a van traveling the U.S. helping people who need help the most and I got very humble all of sudden, thinking to myself how lucky I am to be apart of such an amazing cause. Looking forward to Waveland tomorrow. Goodnight!
10:35 pm
I realize it has been almost a week since I last sat down to journal, but so much has happened in the past week and I've loved every minute of it, honestly. OK, maybe not all of it, but I'm feeling very sentimental and mushy now facing the end of our team's first official spike project in Florida. I sit and write this tonight from the couch (my bed) in our modular home (trailer) in the middle of fu&$ing no where (somewhere between Tallahassee and Crawfordsville, FL.) I loved every moment of hiking the Florida Natural Scenic Trail w/Paint Gallon in hand, re-blazing and lopping branches, sweat pouring out from places on my body I never would have thought sweat could come from. Abby sits on her couch across the room crocheting, trying desperately to get her stitches even, she just informed me that her scarf beginning is straight as a board. (I really do love that kid.) Kenny sits in the armchair reading the DaVinci Code, and nNathan is on the other side of the couch reading Conan O'Brien's Commencement Speech that Joey printed from the Internet this evening while in town, while drinking Dr. Pepper, of course. The others are packing furiously getting ready to embark on our big trip to Mississippi. We are getting to be one big family. we all come to collapse in the family room after a long day of trail work (building a boardwalk and maintaining trails.) We cook for each other, make sure we aren't in each other's personal space, we're starting to look out for each other, and encourage each other to get up off our asses Mon. and Wed. afternoons for our required hours of PT. Do you know how hard it is to do an hour of running/strength-training/soccer at 5pm after 6 hours of trail work/construction in the Florida summer heat? I keep saying it's good for me! It'll make me stronger! I hope I'm right.
Galvanized nails are hard (as nails--haha!) to nail into a 2x8 piece of plywood. I kept bending them, but on the second day I got the hang of it and nailed in 4 in a row with no problem at all. Sweet! Made me feel mreally good about things/life in general. Our spike site was an hour drive from our worksite, so that was a pain, but it did help us get a feel for what we're in this program for. On the way back from the laundry mat tonight I had a thought and I was startled by the fact tha for a year I will basically be living out of a red bag and and a van traveling the U.S. helping people who need help the most and I got very humble all of sudden, thinking to myself how lucky I am to be apart of such an amazing cause. Looking forward to Waveland tomorrow. Goodnight!
Thursday, July 23, 2009
More walks down memory lane...
In honor of my third anniversary of NCCC, I am posting more of my journal entries from that year. I sent this out to my team as a reminder, and it's amazing how much I've changed since then. Also, I really appreciate how others on the team (Thanks, Jill) have responded with their own journal entries from that period and how stunningly similar we all seemed, though we seemed so different back then. Perspective is a powerful tool.
Tonight's segment brought to you by PROZAC. Can you tell that I was in desperate need of some upon writing these?
8/2/06 11:50pm
CTI is drawing to a close and still so much to do, I feel almost overwhelmed. I do feel much close to my teammates but I feel like I will continue to grow closer still. Silver 7 is such an amazing mix of personalities. I'm sure we will all learn just as much from each other as we will from the people we will be serving. Spike trips have been moved until Monday due to Hurricane Chris and we're all pretty bummed about it, just because we are so freakin' excited about actually going somewhere and doing a real live project. We're scheduled to spend a week in Tallahassee with the Florida Trails Association building trails and then six weeks in Biloxi (living in Waveland) doing disaster relief volunteer management with the Harrison County long-term recovery committee. Don't really know what we are doing, but I"m sure we will find out soon enough. It will just be really hard to remain calm while "going with the flow." Gave blood today, and will attempt to run the Ameri-5K tomorrow. We'll see about that. I really wanted to give though.
8/4/06 12:50am
In the third floor lounges of 669 watching THE SANDLOT before getting up early to leave for Florida at 7am. Bringing back wicked good memories and bad memories. Such a great and under appreciated movie, I think. I volunteered to drive first tomorrow, don't ask me why. Spent today at Our Lady of Mercy Community Outreach Center sorting clothes in the donation room for 8 hours (good ISP start, I'd say.) I'm still working on asserting my true identity without committing any verbal assaults. I made a comment about sorority slut barbie today upon seeing a particularly scanty tank top/skirt outfit and I don't think Jill appreciated it. I felt really bad about it, but it is something I am really used to doing at UGA with Emily and Alisha and Danielle. It makes me slightly homesick to realize that I can't make my normal jokes. It really is in good, clean fun, and I had forgotten Jill telling me she was in a sorority but the moment I made the comment I instantly regretted it. I didn't say anything after she told me it wasn't fair, and that was the end of that. where was the sense of humor? I miss my friends at home who honestly would have laughed at that comment and realized the absurd reality that is the Greek world. Here no one understands me, and I don't really understand my teammates. But, the important thing is we are trying. We're dancing around each other, but we are TRYING to become closer. WE are about to subject ourselves to a 9+ hour van ride in a 15-passenger van. We have to try if we don't want to make ourselves miserable. I'm frustrated at myself for not being as good, smart, witty, etc. as any of them, but I can't let them know. It will only make things worse between us. So I hold it all inside, how bitter at the world I feel, how rejected I feel, but I won't let them know...
AND EDITED FOR CONTENT BECAUSE IT GETS EVEN MORE SELF-INVOLVED...
Tonight's segment brought to you by PROZAC. Can you tell that I was in desperate need of some upon writing these?
8/2/06 11:50pm
CTI is drawing to a close and still so much to do, I feel almost overwhelmed. I do feel much close to my teammates but I feel like I will continue to grow closer still. Silver 7 is such an amazing mix of personalities. I'm sure we will all learn just as much from each other as we will from the people we will be serving. Spike trips have been moved until Monday due to Hurricane Chris and we're all pretty bummed about it, just because we are so freakin' excited about actually going somewhere and doing a real live project. We're scheduled to spend a week in Tallahassee with the Florida Trails Association building trails and then six weeks in Biloxi (living in Waveland) doing disaster relief volunteer management with the Harrison County long-term recovery committee. Don't really know what we are doing, but I"m sure we will find out soon enough. It will just be really hard to remain calm while "going with the flow." Gave blood today, and will attempt to run the Ameri-5K tomorrow. We'll see about that. I really wanted to give though.
8/4/06 12:50am
In the third floor lounges of 669 watching THE SANDLOT before getting up early to leave for Florida at 7am. Bringing back wicked good memories and bad memories. Such a great and under appreciated movie, I think. I volunteered to drive first tomorrow, don't ask me why. Spent today at Our Lady of Mercy Community Outreach Center sorting clothes in the donation room for 8 hours (good ISP start, I'd say.) I'm still working on asserting my true identity without committing any verbal assaults. I made a comment about sorority slut barbie today upon seeing a particularly scanty tank top/skirt outfit and I don't think Jill appreciated it. I felt really bad about it, but it is something I am really used to doing at UGA with Emily and Alisha and Danielle. It makes me slightly homesick to realize that I can't make my normal jokes. It really is in good, clean fun, and I had forgotten Jill telling me she was in a sorority but the moment I made the comment I instantly regretted it. I didn't say anything after she told me it wasn't fair, and that was the end of that. where was the sense of humor? I miss my friends at home who honestly would have laughed at that comment and realized the absurd reality that is the Greek world. Here no one understands me, and I don't really understand my teammates. But, the important thing is we are trying. We're dancing around each other, but we are TRYING to become closer. WE are about to subject ourselves to a 9+ hour van ride in a 15-passenger van. We have to try if we don't want to make ourselves miserable. I'm frustrated at myself for not being as good, smart, witty, etc. as any of them, but I can't let them know. It will only make things worse between us. So I hold it all inside, how bitter at the world I feel, how rejected I feel, but I won't let them know...
AND EDITED FOR CONTENT BECAUSE IT GETS EVEN MORE SELF-INVOLVED...
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Delving into the past, part 100
I realized yesterday that the THIRD anniversary of SILVER 7 AmeriCorps*NCCC Class XIII is quickly approaching, and to honor that I got out my journal from July 2006 and began looking at all the entries from that first week on campus. Oh how far I've come as a human being at the mere age of 27. (I was only 24 then, after all!) But seriously. It's my own cringe series, thanks Tigi. Enjoy!
This entry is from a journal I started on July 11, 2006, my beginning of my AmeriCorps*NCCC adventure. The idea in reliving it is to look at old patterns of anxiety, depression, and panic attacks (since this program is where I learned of my struggle with all three) and to see how far I've come since then and determine where I need to go from there.
7/11/06
11:05 pm
I'm here. Nothing very exciting yet though apparently I'm so tired I can't even get the right endings on my verbs. (I crossed off exited before writing exciting.) My room looks like college part II, though I think these rooms are in slightly worse condition than Creswell Hall's if that's at all possible. Ha! My roommate hasn't actually shown up yet, so for tonight I have the room entirely to myself. Which is nice. I had a nice time unpacking and fixing things while listening to music on my mp3 player. Its sort of like summer camp. I met my team leader, and she seems sweet and smart. A bit on the energetic side, but I guess that's what one wants in a team leader. My feet HURT from the day. I wore my cheap flats with my skirt, and they absolutely tore my feet apart entirely, so for the first couple of hours I'm here I was kinda glazed over.
I'm also trying to remember to take this experience ONE day at a time and not get ahead of myself or worry about events too far in advance. I introduced myself to my team today as OCD and organized. And then later in the meeting someone asked for the address and I just shot it out. Some guy on the team said "we're giving everything to her to remember from now on." (Or something to that effect, which made me feel good that my neurotic tendencies might actually be put to good use and appreciated here. Maybe.
Flight here was delayed, so we didn't actually get here until 6:30ish, giving us enough time to throw luggage in room and grab a PB&J for dinner and get on to meetings. Met several nice folks at the airport, but I haven't actually seen them since stepping off the van. Tomorrow's a long day of intro stuff, and I'm really tired and would like to read my magazine before drifting off to sleep, so I think I will sign off and revisit feelings tomorrow, whenever. (I'm loving this new journal, it actually has lines!) And while I am aware that I still have some of my sketchbook to finish off, I'll be doing most of my WRITING writing in here for obvious reasons. I maybe flipping back and forth between the two out of guilt and a OCD need to finish one journal before starting another.
Is it too soon to tell if I'm the loner yet? I have such loner tendencies, I don't want them, but I fear I'm going to develop them and fall into the same patterns I'm used to. Must remember to take life one day at a time. Indeed. Signing off for the night! Good night! :)
Is that not the most pathetic piece of writing you've ever read?
This entry is from a journal I started on July 11, 2006, my beginning of my AmeriCorps*NCCC adventure. The idea in reliving it is to look at old patterns of anxiety, depression, and panic attacks (since this program is where I learned of my struggle with all three) and to see how far I've come since then and determine where I need to go from there.
7/11/06
11:05 pm
I'm here. Nothing very exciting yet though apparently I'm so tired I can't even get the right endings on my verbs. (I crossed off exited before writing exciting.) My room looks like college part II, though I think these rooms are in slightly worse condition than Creswell Hall's if that's at all possible. Ha! My roommate hasn't actually shown up yet, so for tonight I have the room entirely to myself. Which is nice. I had a nice time unpacking and fixing things while listening to music on my mp3 player. Its sort of like summer camp. I met my team leader, and she seems sweet and smart. A bit on the energetic side, but I guess that's what one wants in a team leader. My feet HURT from the day. I wore my cheap flats with my skirt, and they absolutely tore my feet apart entirely, so for the first couple of hours I'm here I was kinda glazed over.
I'm also trying to remember to take this experience ONE day at a time and not get ahead of myself or worry about events too far in advance. I introduced myself to my team today as OCD and organized. And then later in the meeting someone asked for the address and I just shot it out. Some guy on the team said "we're giving everything to her to remember from now on." (Or something to that effect, which made me feel good that my neurotic tendencies might actually be put to good use and appreciated here. Maybe.
Flight here was delayed, so we didn't actually get here until 6:30ish, giving us enough time to throw luggage in room and grab a PB&J for dinner and get on to meetings. Met several nice folks at the airport, but I haven't actually seen them since stepping off the van. Tomorrow's a long day of intro stuff, and I'm really tired and would like to read my magazine before drifting off to sleep, so I think I will sign off and revisit feelings tomorrow, whenever. (I'm loving this new journal, it actually has lines!) And while I am aware that I still have some of my sketchbook to finish off, I'll be doing most of my WRITING writing in here for obvious reasons. I maybe flipping back and forth between the two out of guilt and a OCD need to finish one journal before starting another.
Is it too soon to tell if I'm the loner yet? I have such loner tendencies, I don't want them, but I fear I'm going to develop them and fall into the same patterns I'm used to. Must remember to take life one day at a time. Indeed. Signing off for the night! Good night! :)
Is that not the most pathetic piece of writing you've ever read?
Saturday, August 9, 2008
I'm going to finally go public with this...
"Everyone is doing it from the Buddhists to the Baptists!" exclaims our site sponsor Martha Lee during the seventh volunteer orientation I've heard since I've been working with Westminster Presbyterian Church in Gulfport, Mississippi. "Over 700 roofs have been fixed since the storm; we call ourselves the Righteous Roofers," she goes on to explain of the faith-based volunteer mission. A chuckle choruses across the fellowship hall. New volunteers are eager to begin their week of grueling physical labor and helping residents of the surrounding towns get back to their homes.
Every week we get a new crew of volunteers, and every week I hear these statistics. And every week these statistics never cease to amaze me. The moral of the story I suppose is never underestimate the power of people in large groups with large hearts. These are people in a different stage of life, mostly retired, who want to give back to society at large. They come with many skills or no skills at all, and work tirelessly for a solid week. I feel hopeless next to them; I've been here for seven weeks, returning to the same project even after winter break and by patience for all things disaster relief and construction is starting to wear thin.
Then I meet Janet, a retired high school French teacher. I have been assigned to the group she is working with to paint a house by the beach. We load the car in silence, but I can feel her staring at me. Why is she staring at me? Pretty soon I will get the question. The dreaded question: it pops off her tongue no sooner than we open the door of our worksite. "Why did you decide to join AmeriCorps*NCCC?" I want nothing more than to run at this point. There's no looking to my team members for help on this one, for I am the only person under age 55 there. I knew what it is before I heard it; I've heard the same question at the beginning of every week with a new volunteer crew.
Like many of my fellow Corps members, I joined this program because I had no earthly idea what I wanted to do with my life after college. I knew I didn't want to teach and I knew I didn't want to sit in an office. That doesn't leave much room for exploration for a girl with an education degree and AmeriCorps was my sort of delaying the real world gig. I sure wasn't going to admit that to this volunteer though. I managed to get something off about wanting to explore my options and travel while helping others after college, but I stumbled.
Clearly, this question makes me nervous. Can't she see that? I want to tell the truth about my past in the classroom and failing miserably at classroom management when I was on my own as a teacher. I want to say that I asked for help and was asked to resign. I want to say I'm a perfectionist who is lost in a world no one can dream of. I don't, though. I'm expected to be a strong leader of these folks, and I can't do that and crumble at the same time. It's not like I have practiced this speech enough in the past seven weeks.
I realized I must have struck a chord when, 30 minutes and one coat of paint on two walls later I'm engrossed in her life and career story. I listen intently because there really is nothing more to do. I learn that she was a teacher for ten years, and those ten years were the most miserable years of her life. "There are teachers and there are those that give back in other ways," she explains. I'm starting to believe that these other ways are OK, thanks to this woman and ten others I met this week. I don't know why this woman stuck out more than any of the other volunteers, all of whom came up to hug me before they lift at the end of last week.
Maybe I realized for the first time that I could do and be anything I want to be. I don't have to be a teacher and that is OK. I don't have to paint myself into a little box and settle down into a career and do that for the rest of my life. I don't have to spend the next 10 or 15 years in the same state of even country.
I listen to stories from volunteers like Janet, volunteers who are different ages, both men and women, and who represent a variety of professions, and I am renewed. I look forward to the beginning of every week. These people energize me to complete tasks for the Westminster community and Gulfport region once again. I am hopeful for my work during my team's final tow weeks in the Gulf. Yet, I am also reflective of my future and excited to begin seeking out plans for the months and years ahead of me. It's inspiring what I gain simply by opening my ears and heart and just being here.
It goes without saying that my generation is whiny. I am proud member of the millennial generation, for what it's worth. There are many great things that we have contributed to society (our work-ethic, commitment to a team and a task, and desire for success among them.) However, among those strengths are our greatest weaknesses: we are whiny, and we tend to make a BIG deal out of not much. Who knows the reason for this? I blow my resignation from teaching after less than a year out of proportion on a daily basis, possibly because I haven't had much else to complain about. As much as a career set back such as this one disappoints me, I have learned much.
Since my resignation, I have realized that I fill a support role in teaching much better than I fill a teacher role in the classroom. Thanks to AmeriCorps, I have been given a tremendous opportunity to meet people and see places and experience situations I never would have dreamed about as a classroom teacher. In my second year of service in Minneapolis, I was also given a second shot at teaching, but in a much less intimidating manner. Thanks to the City of Lakes AmeriCorps program, I have been able to work collaboratively with teachers and students to build the kind of teaching career that I might enjoy holding for the next ten years, at least. Then I can reassess.
Every week we get a new crew of volunteers, and every week I hear these statistics. And every week these statistics never cease to amaze me. The moral of the story I suppose is never underestimate the power of people in large groups with large hearts. These are people in a different stage of life, mostly retired, who want to give back to society at large. They come with many skills or no skills at all, and work tirelessly for a solid week. I feel hopeless next to them; I've been here for seven weeks, returning to the same project even after winter break and by patience for all things disaster relief and construction is starting to wear thin.
Then I meet Janet, a retired high school French teacher. I have been assigned to the group she is working with to paint a house by the beach. We load the car in silence, but I can feel her staring at me. Why is she staring at me? Pretty soon I will get the question. The dreaded question: it pops off her tongue no sooner than we open the door of our worksite. "Why did you decide to join AmeriCorps*NCCC?" I want nothing more than to run at this point. There's no looking to my team members for help on this one, for I am the only person under age 55 there. I knew what it is before I heard it; I've heard the same question at the beginning of every week with a new volunteer crew.
Like many of my fellow Corps members, I joined this program because I had no earthly idea what I wanted to do with my life after college. I knew I didn't want to teach and I knew I didn't want to sit in an office. That doesn't leave much room for exploration for a girl with an education degree and AmeriCorps was my sort of delaying the real world gig. I sure wasn't going to admit that to this volunteer though. I managed to get something off about wanting to explore my options and travel while helping others after college, but I stumbled.
Clearly, this question makes me nervous. Can't she see that? I want to tell the truth about my past in the classroom and failing miserably at classroom management when I was on my own as a teacher. I want to say that I asked for help and was asked to resign. I want to say I'm a perfectionist who is lost in a world no one can dream of. I don't, though. I'm expected to be a strong leader of these folks, and I can't do that and crumble at the same time. It's not like I have practiced this speech enough in the past seven weeks.
I realized I must have struck a chord when, 30 minutes and one coat of paint on two walls later I'm engrossed in her life and career story. I listen intently because there really is nothing more to do. I learn that she was a teacher for ten years, and those ten years were the most miserable years of her life. "There are teachers and there are those that give back in other ways," she explains. I'm starting to believe that these other ways are OK, thanks to this woman and ten others I met this week. I don't know why this woman stuck out more than any of the other volunteers, all of whom came up to hug me before they lift at the end of last week.
Maybe I realized for the first time that I could do and be anything I want to be. I don't have to be a teacher and that is OK. I don't have to paint myself into a little box and settle down into a career and do that for the rest of my life. I don't have to spend the next 10 or 15 years in the same state of even country.
I listen to stories from volunteers like Janet, volunteers who are different ages, both men and women, and who represent a variety of professions, and I am renewed. I look forward to the beginning of every week. These people energize me to complete tasks for the Westminster community and Gulfport region once again. I am hopeful for my work during my team's final tow weeks in the Gulf. Yet, I am also reflective of my future and excited to begin seeking out plans for the months and years ahead of me. It's inspiring what I gain simply by opening my ears and heart and just being here.
It goes without saying that my generation is whiny. I am proud member of the millennial generation, for what it's worth. There are many great things that we have contributed to society (our work-ethic, commitment to a team and a task, and desire for success among them.) However, among those strengths are our greatest weaknesses: we are whiny, and we tend to make a BIG deal out of not much. Who knows the reason for this? I blow my resignation from teaching after less than a year out of proportion on a daily basis, possibly because I haven't had much else to complain about. As much as a career set back such as this one disappoints me, I have learned much.
Since my resignation, I have realized that I fill a support role in teaching much better than I fill a teacher role in the classroom. Thanks to AmeriCorps, I have been given a tremendous opportunity to meet people and see places and experience situations I never would have dreamed about as a classroom teacher. In my second year of service in Minneapolis, I was also given a second shot at teaching, but in a much less intimidating manner. Thanks to the City of Lakes AmeriCorps program, I have been able to work collaboratively with teachers and students to build the kind of teaching career that I might enjoy holding for the next ten years, at least. Then I can reassess.
Friday, July 4, 2008
I miss the days when...
it was almost a given that you had plans for fireworks and the Fourth of July. My work plans canceled themselves WITHOUT calling me (ARG) and now I'm stuck in a state I don't know and my roommates are with their families and I miss the Camp Misty Mountain days where we would head up to Chattanooga and watch fireworks over the river and I always had someone to do something with. Even last summer was a blast. I was living in Charleston working at the museum, and headed down to meet said CMM crew in Savannah, and watched fireworks over the river. Now I'm in a town with a bigger river, but it's like I didn't meet anyone this year. Gosh getting old sucks. Gosh growing up sucks worse. I guess I'll deal, and I'm sorry for the rant. Just had to get it out there to the blogging world. Anyone else feel like this?
Ameri-fun for the Ameri-fourth?
I'm Ameri-fabulous because I spent all day Ameri-working on the Ameri-binder for my school. Then, I'm Ameri-working my other job from 4-8. Hopefully I'll get to see some Ameri-fireworks before getting up to do it all over again tomorrow. I can't help but feel like I am in the Ameri-rat race. When do I get an Ameri-break? I wouldn't know what to do with it if I did get one, to be honest. Alright...now I'm Ameri-off...later...
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