Saturday, June 1, 2013

Nothing of substance, just a distraction post tonight

Because someone posted this to facebook today and it made me chuckle.

1. Coffee, n.. The person upon whom one coughs. 
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained. 
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent. 
6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightie, gown.
7. Lymph, v.. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists. 
13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist. 
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms. 
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men
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