Why I've been MIA lately

On Friday, I went to hear this dude read from his new book and it was amazing. It was so amazing I need a new word for amazing. I bought the book. True genius is all I'm gonna say. I'm not even going to go on because you need to buy it yourself and read it and then we can talk. Saturday I worked and then went to a poetry slam, which I have never been to before but really enjoyed. On the way home from the poetry slam (we biked) my housemate A who was pedaling behind me screams "they just threw away the day old bread" at the top of his lungs as we ride past the Franklin Street Bakery a block from our house. As we pull up to the house to park our bikes, A suggests to my roommate A and myself "hey they just put a bunch of bread in the dumpster behind the bakery, do you want to go dumpster diving?"

Since A and A are a pair and I'm the trusty sidekick for the evening, and A decides to go along with A, I decide to come too. Because either a. I don't have a brain or b. I need some more entertainment for the evening. I've never been dumpster diving before and it might must make a good blog post or chapter for my novel later. We get there, and there's a "no trespassing" sign on the gate to the dumpster, but the gate is open. There are not one but THREE large trash bags full of day-old bread. Tied up, non-punctured, and sitting in the dumpster, which is about a foot over our heads. Male A reaches up and punches a hole in the bag, and doesn't hesitate to grab a slice of sourdough and take a bite from it. We contemplate taking it, see a cop drive by, and walk away slowly. "It's too heavy," male A says ashamed of himself. All of sudden, female A can't be outdone and challenges male A to a competition. The two of them race toward the dumpster again and proceed to dig it out, lift it up and run toward the house. It starts to fall, and they beg me to grab it before it hits the ground.

So I know this isn't funny now, but at the time, we were in so many stitches of laughter we could not hold the bag and what's more, the hole in the bag was creating a Hansel and Gretel effect all the way back to our house. At least the squirrels and birds won't starve. We get home, and none of us has a house key, so we beat on the door until M answers it only to find the three of us whacked out on breadcrumbs and carrying a body-bag size bag of bread. It should be said now that M is allergic to glutin and can't eat bread. But she goes along with it. We dump the bag out on the floor and J just stares at us from the covers on the couch. "What the hell" I think just about covers her response. For the remainder of the night we bagged the bread into individual bags and started giving it away and putting it in the freezer.

Not one of my brightest moves, but then again, I won't have to buy bread again, ever. And I'm not dead yet. It was a pretty sweet evening. I bet you've never dumpster dove for bread?

Now that I've shared, what was the stupidest thing you've ever done as a younger person? Speak up now!

Learning to love my life after AmeriCorps

For the past three weeks, I have been substitute teaching at day care centers around my area as a way to make a few extra dollars while figuring out my next big move. It's not the most glamourous work out there, nor is it the cleanest. I have been spit on, peed on, bitten, clawed, tugged, pooped on, and the list goes on from there. Sure, there are the moments when you get to actually play with children, but those are few and far between. I can't help but think this whole thing would be easier if I just got up and moved to another country. Even if I was working the daycare scene, it would be OK because I would be in FRANCE. Or Spain. Or England. Well, you get the picture.

I've had such a great two years in AmeriCorps it seems like doing this is such a let down from that. I'm not growing or challenging myself in the ways I need to be productive. But at the same time I am in school again, and that feels good.

Does any one have any tips for surviving this transitional stage of my life? What next? Can anyone relate? Share your stories now. Was there a time in your life when you thought you were being stifled creatively in your career? What did you do about it? I'd like to hear from the HUB world about finding your dream job.

Let her rip!

Day care is day care

But I feel like day care would be better if it were in a new land. Why can't I get up and go to, say, Italy, and take care of babies? That would certainly put a brand new spin on things, would it not?

Why I am posting at this un-GOD-ly hour in the morning

I went to bed at 8pm thanks to my illness and woke up at 3am with a splitting headache. Of course, the only thing I have for pain is Excedrin, which is loaded with caffeine and I can't sleep. So I will deal since I have to leave for work in close to two hours anyway. I'll nap this afternoon. That's just how my cookie crumbles.

Damn babies

Another reason not to have children: the brats are nothing but little bundles of germs. I know this because I spent all night hugging my toilet, in writhing pain. I had forgotten what it felt like to do this. And the funny thing is, while I was doing this, I consistently saw the face of the gassy baby in front of me when I was in pain. Talk about some shit. It's a good thing I'm not going back to the germ farm Monday, because I would seriously kick some baby ass. I'm going to try to go back to sleep now, and hope I don't have a repeat of last night. Blah.

Quiz time

This quiz is mildly amusing.

A rather fitting fortune, I might add

So after a rather satisfying Chinese dinner with K, I had an even more satisfying fortune in my cookie.

"You have a charming way with words and should write a book."

I'm looking at it as a HUGE sign from above. Now if only the motivation piece would kick in. Blast.

Baby Madness

Working in the infant room at the East Side Community Center while also listening to easy listening sad FM for the over forty got me thinking: Just how many songs have the word baby in them? And could I make an awesome "baby room mix tape"? One I actually wouldn't mind listening to while wiping projectile vomit off my chest and changing only a million diapers. Of course I can. Here's what I have so far:

1. Baby Girl, Sugarland
2. Walkin' My Baby Back Home, Nat King Cole (other versions work too...though I like Cole's best
3. Baby Got Going, Liz Phair
4. Tell Me Baby, Red Hot Chili Peppers
5. Next Year Baby, Jamie Cullum
6. Isn't She Lovely, Stevie Wonder (What baby mix is complete without this, seriously?)

There's more...stay tuned!

Amazing Dawn French scene

From the movie LOVE AND OTHER DISASTERS. Which, if you haven't seen it, don't. This scene is all that is worthy of the movie, really. It is a great scene. And it is my next big acting class audition piece. LOL.