This American Life is Embeddable now, apparantly

Just thought I'd share this awesome show that I have listened to every week for over a year now with my blog audience. Love it. You should too.

I'm treating 2010 like any other year

Is that so wrong?

Every time I get big and lofty about my goals and ambitions for the New Year, I end up disappointing myself. So my goal for the new year is not to disappoint myself. I will set mild ambitions and try not to beat myself up when I don't come through. I am going to be gentler on myself this year. That will be the loftiest goal of all. That being said, I do have some more concrete goals to accomplish, but I am not saying them on a public forum just yet. Right, now, I'm going to work on getting a blog post up every day during the month of January. That should be goal enough, and yes, this one counts as the first one for the first year.

That is it.

Not exciting enough for you? That's great, because I'm all about pleasing me, not you. What are some goals that you have for the new year/decade? 2010 going to be your year? Why or why not?

Coming soon: Terrible poetry from terrible people

New blog, courtesy of Al Pal over at http://onlyadropinthebucket.blogspot.com/. Haven't decided on the true format yet, but get excited! (And start pulling out that poetry because...that's right, this blog will feature none other than fabulous you! (If you want your name printed of course, you can always stay anon with it.)

Mmmmm...Green Smoothies!!! (Like anyone cares!)

You Are a Green Smoothie

You are a conscientious, health oriented person. You like fresh, whole foods. You have an open mind about life. You enjoy all sorts of things, and you're not picky. In fact, you believe the best things in life tend to be underrated or a bit intimidating. You are bold and daring. You enjoy taking risks and living life to the fullest.

What Flavor Smoothie Are You?

Excuse to visit Paris! Anyone?

You Belong in Paris

Stylish and expressive, you were meant for Paris. The art, the fashion, the wine! Whether you're enjoying the cafe life or a beautiful park... You'll love living in the most chic place on earth.

What City Do You Belong In?

I always knew I was a closet New Yorker!

You Belong in the East Village

A little bit arty, a little bit punk - you seem to set trends that many people follow. It's likely that you're an academic of sorts, even if it's just on the weekends.

Where Should Your Inner New Yorker Live?

I'm a leader because blogthings.com told me so!

You Are the Leader

You are inspiring and uplifting. You bring out the best in people, through both nurturing and challenging them. You always can see the big picture in life. You are very philosophical and deeply spiritual. You understand people, and you can look at their lives objectively. You can help others grow and heal. People feel comforted by your presence. You help them gain perspective on their lives.

What's Your Life's Mission?

Here's what I say to the bicyclists on Franklin Ave.

Partly because it's awesome and partly because a certain SOMEONE over at Lucky Ball Charms wanted me to post it:



I'm only kidding of course, but I do feel a little full of rage with Monday coming on and all...


(Are you happy now, Em? I want to see some new content up on your site, like, STAT.)

DOUBT

I had a video up about this, but I hate that YouTube now has a larger than square embedded video. So if you want to see it, go to YouTube yourself. It's annoying that it no longer fits on my blog. Blah.

More on this later. But I just wanted to check in and let you readers know that if you haven't yet, you must see this. Absolutely breathtaking. And all those other adjectives.

Noveling Madness

As some of you well know, I have taken on the challenge of writing a novel in a month. As some of you may not know, I am failing miserably. Here it is the third day of November, and I am at 963 words. LOL. If I have to arrive at 50,000 by the end of the month, I have to write 1,667 each day. That should put me at 5,001 by the end of today. Yikes.

I have never had more motivation to organize everything in my wallet, closet, kitchen, or bathroom. I have never had more motivation to NOT WRITE. There is something so daunting about 50,000 words and having them have to make sense. It's a challenge that far exceeds blogging on a regular basis. With blogging, I can make my posts random and incoherent if I wish to. If I want to do that in NaNo, I will have a harder and harder time turning it into something. Maybe I shouldn't worry about that. Maybe I should just write. Right now, I've started with something autobiographical, hoping to turn it into a chick-lit story of four girls facing the real world. I've started categorizing chapters around each girl. I have a lot of characterization. I don't have a lot of plot. For those of you who have written a novel, will plot come naturally? If I have all the characters in mind and what I want them to behave as, will plot flow into something interesting and readable as time and word count progress?

It sounds like every other piece of chick-lit novelish drek that's out there already, no? You're probably right in assuming that. But if they can do it and get rich, so can I, right? Anyone else doing NaNo this year? Anyone want to share there advice? Comisserate? Offer motivation? You are welcome to do so here. Calling you, dear readers...especially one in particular...that's YOU: EMMY @ LUCKY BALL CHARMS. Yes, now you can't escape.

OK I'm asking!

Who are my Georgia readers? Aside from Emmy over at Lucky Ball Charms, my Feedjit says I have a reader in Decatur, GA, and reader in Norcross, GA. I'm insanely curious as to what brought you over to Rambling Rose!

If you are willing to reveal your identity, please comment here. I really want to know who is reading this blog, and if I can do anything to help.

What do you want to know about? What do you look for in a blog? What brought you to my little side of cyberspace?

Please tell and I shall respond with more new posts!

Thanks,

Recycled Art Girl

A little of something...

Who am I?
I am a chick with an attitude but I don’t show it off often.
I am a chick who hates the word chick.
I love Broadway Musicals and generally everything that New York City stands for.
Minnesota, Mississippi, South Carolina, Louisiana
Where to next?
Who knows?
Only I can decide.
Who knows?

Summer, by the numbers

14 Days left in the month of June, 2008
22 Days left until summer school starts at Nellie Stone Johnson
24 Days left until my writing class begins at the Loft (I'm taking Freelance Writing, Articles and Columns and I'm excited!)
26 Days left until my other Loft workshop starts (I'm taking Journal Workshop, harvesting material from the Journal and I'm even more excited!)

I need to find a job.
I need to find a job.
I need to find a job.

The future. A scary thought, no?

I think I will be scoring for Pearson again, up here in the Twin Cities. I start my PCA gig on Thursday, and I take on the role of the other gravedigger in Shakespeare's Hamlet tomorrow. I really am going crazy, aren't I?

I have signed on to work three jobs starting next week. I'm going to go insane! It will be good for me. The discipline of having to be somewhere and do something again. When am I going to work out though? This leaves the EARLY MORNINGS only, and I hate exercising in the EARLY MORNINGS. Now that it's getting nice out, I might just go ahead and cancel my YWCA membership. Then again, it's only $20 a month. (I get the scholarship rate.) If I'm not using it though, how much further can that $20 a month go? Only time will tell. I'll give myself another week to decide.

Can you tell that I'm trying to be more financially responsible? I've always considered myself financially responsible. I do write down every purchase I make big or small, and a have only a little credit card debt to pay off. I worked my way through undergrad and let my scholarship pay my tuition, so I don't have any student loan debt to pay either. Somehow I'm getting the feeling though that I can let myself get real behind if I let it slide any more. I'm starting to STRESS!!!

I'm trying to figure out my next year's plan of action as well. It's looking like either become a full-time nanny here in the Twin Cities or move back home to Atlanta. I don't want to move back home. The financial security is nice (and alluring), yes, but the more I think about living under parental smotherage, the more I want to smother myself.

Maybe I'll take a teaching position somewhere. Like this school. I can do it! Maybe not. I'm so indecisive lately, and that scares me too. Every time I go apply to graduate school I want to smother myself as well. I get to the "Statement of Purpose" section on programs such as the University of Minnesota's Special Education Learning Disabilities program and I absolutely FREEZE. That's probably some kind of sign that says I should be applying to grad school right yet, right? Probably.

I've looked at all kinds of grad programs as well. Non-profit management, education, creative writing, public health, public service, even NURSING (my first major in college!) I can't justify the cost of going back to school just yet. I keep telling myself I just need to get more life experience. More years in the work force! Only time will tell. However, my education awards will expire soon enough! I'm so indecisive. Enough about my indecisiveness though.

This weekend was spent at the fifth grade Math Masters competition with some of my favorite Nellie Stone students, and researching some Life After AmeriCorps opportunities. Things will work out. I have faith. They will!

I'm excited for this!!!

I realize how much of a girl this makes me, of course, and while I'm a little ashamed of it, I also don't give a rat's behind. SATC rules! (It doesn't rock though, because I'm trying to drop rock from my vocabulary. I use it way too often.)

My adventures in acting

I’ve heard it said that an acting teacher knows what part is right the moment she meets you. Which is why I was a little afraid when my acting for beginners teacher chose a monologue delivered by a manic-depressive character trying to impress a blind date for me to work on for the entire length of the class. Don’t over think this. Don’t think about this at all. Still, I can’t help but think because that is what I do. Do I seem manic? That is the exact line that Jasmine delivered at the beginning of her date, the line that the class told me I delivered so well. At the risk of seeming crazy, I’m going to answer my own question, in a word: sometimes. It’s been hard not to see parallels between me and my precious character Jasmine from Sweethearts, and that’s exactly what one wants, right? Of course right.



Never having been on an actual date, I always end up picturing what my first will be and if it will be anything like Jasmine’s Jasmine is nervous, really. That’s what it all boils down to. She’s so nervous having just come out of the psychiatric wing of a very different VA hospital, she talks to fill space. And in the end ends up convincing her date, and herself that she’s not actually ready to date, let a lone have an actual relationship. I feel sorry for her actually, and it’s hard not to turn that pity on myself.


But really, I’m curious as to why this woman, acting teacher, a woman I’ve known all of under 30 minutes, chose me for this role. True, I was the only single woman under 30 in the class. True, I probably seemed more than anxious on our first day of class when I had to introduce myself. But manic? Not a far cry. She probably thought.


“Do you smoke?” she asked curiously.
“No.” I said firmly. A lot of things I might have been, but a smoker I definitely was not.
“This will be perfect!” She exclaimed as she took a piece of paper from her notebook and handed it to me.
I read the first line to myself.
“Do you have light?”


You’ve got to be kidding me.



Stay tuned. You'll get updates eventually.

I could have written this song, now why didn't I?

I've written everything else not useful lately. But Kimya Dawson and the Juno Soundtrack rock my world. (Or are my world, I can't tell.)


"My roller coaster's got the biggest ups and downs as long as it keeps goin' round its unbelievable"


you were on my mind at least nine tenths of yesterday
it seemed as if perhaps I'd gone insane
what is it about you that has commandeered my brain?
maybe it's your awesome songs or maybe it's the way
when I look at your face I can tell that you're not going to be stopping soon or even slowing down

and if we keep up this pace pretty soon we'll know the name of every kid and every grown up booking house shows in their town

and if home is really where the heart is
then wer're the smartest kids I know
because wherever we are in this great big world
we'll never be more than a few hours from home

and that's important because I need to travel
I've had this itchin in my shoes since I was just a little kid
and before I had a mini van I road the Greyhound bus
my mom would say "I hope some day you get paid for being Kimya Dawson"
and now I do and it's not much
but it's enough
I've got my Scrabble game, food on my plate, good friends and family
and now there's you understanding why I do the things I do
knowing that you do them too makes me really happy

Out with the old, in with the new

AS my last post of 2007, I want to keep it simple and just say:

Happy New Year!!!

Have fun, be safe, and here's to a chance for a fresh start.

I'm taking a true risk here..

...and might delete this shortly after I post this, but I was feeling vulnerable that night and thought I needed to let off some steam. I'm just not sure the whole world needs to see it. Here goes; comments welcome.

December 22, 2007

I never realized how much I rely on others for support and kind words of support until today, really. I do know I've always felt good when others have told me how much I rock, but I was told today that I am the other half of two of the teachers I work with at school. As great as it made me feel to know this and to know that I'd been supporting people and they actually recognize this and appreciate it, I do have to say, if I'm one half of two people, where is the part for me?

Both halves of me are going to two people, so what am I lacking? Me time? Time to support myself? Why do I do this in every work and personal life situtation I enter? Is it self-esteem? Do I really think I suck that badly to martyr myself out so badly to every person I meet?

I really have to start thinking this way, don't I? I really have to start creating time for myself. I really have to start making myself a priority. New Year's Resolution anyone? I love New Year's Resolutions! No, actually, I hate them. But they are quite necessary, and the first of the year (particularly being my birth month) is a good time to start. I can't say that no longer will I be a slave to anyone else. For I thrive on being of service to those arround. Perhaps that is why I joined a National Service Program?

I'm asking a lot of questions here, and I don't expect answers right away. I begin my 26th year in two weeks. I propose a toast to me. Whitney Houston said it first (though maybe not best?) when she said "I've found the Greatest Love of All inside of me..." and I think there is an element of truth to the fact that the the greatest love of all is indeed learning to love oneself. I propose that my 26th year is a year I commit to that love, or the persuit of it at least. Geez, it's about time, isn't it?

I'm listening to the song now. It's really quite meaningful to my situtation now, please don't laugh. But "Let the children't laughter remind us of how we used to be..."

I am a teacher dangit. I need to take some cues from children and learning to be a little more carefree. Less self-conscious, less self-aware. My self-awareness is my greatest gift and my greatest curse at times.

and "Everyone searching for a hero, people need someone to look up to..."

I've been doing this with teachers from the time I was ten. Teachers modeled for me what I was supposed to be like. But I fear I transposed the the role to be like, and sometimes I try to be them, and get discouraged when I can't be them. How silly is that?

Of course I can't be them! I look up to them, even the teachers I work with now, but they certainly aren't better than me, and I need to learn to focus on that a little more. I am beautiful alone, by myself, and just me. I can be LIKE whomever I feel like being LIKE, but I must stop there and not try to BECOME anyone else but the me I want to be.

In short, I'm going to try to love life a little more. Enjoy myself in the presence of others. Heck, I would like to become the LEADING LADY of my own life, instead of the best friend in the movie version of my life.

26, 2008. New me. No, not a new me, just a better me. Just me.

Another blast from the past...

As I browse back through my google documents, I was looking at some of my old journal entries from the beginning of NCCC. I thought I'd post it here.

7/12/06
2:55 p.m.

Today was another long day of in-processing bullshit. We got our uniforms in the morning, and we moved swiftly through the in-processing checklist to travel reimbursements to banking to lunch and ID badges. Half of the morning stuff I didn’t need, so I just kinda sat there while others talked, which I did all of yesterday as well sorta came to the conclusion that people like to hear themselves talk just for the sake of talking. I’m in my room now, for a brief couple of hours, until we have to go back to the 202 building for boot sizing at 4:30. I’m totally stoked we get to wear steel-toed work boots. I’ e never done anything where they were a requirement before, so of course I’m going to be stoked.

Getting to know my team a little better as well. This could potentially be a very good experience. I have a feeling that there will be 1 or 2 (probably girls) that I will end up being close to and the others will just be there. I know I am a person that takes a while before I warm up to everyone and right now I’m falling into my “quiet girl” mode. I want to break out of that role badly, but I know it will take some time. So far everyone is really nice. I also know that tonight after boot sizing we’re off to some “group bonding” activity Maggie has planned for us. Sounds interesting in theory, but I know I’ll probably end up putting my emotional guard up and not share anything. It’s probably going to be one of those group initiative thing that I hate any way. Who knows? We shall find out later.

I suppose I can go and list my team members and first impressions now. Maybe in ten months I can go back and reassess, because they will, most likely, will have changed.

Our team leader Maggie seems really sweet and excited to be here. Really excited and enthusiastic, though I’m wondering how long the façade will last. Certainly a person cannot keep things going for as long as ten months, without one gigantic happy pill. There has got to be an evil side to her, and I’m wondering when we will see it and how long it’ll last. Maggie also keeps saying how tired she is and how she hasn’t slept that much, but when ever we ask her a question she’s right on the ball, so I don’t get it. I totally trust her with my documents and paperwork, and believe she will be an amazing leader this year.

Interesting reading, now that I'm a year and a half removed from the whole situation.