More hair cut photos...Don't you love the ringlet in the middle of my forehead?
Showing posts with label learning about me. Show all posts
Showing posts with label learning about me. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
That giddy feeling, part II
More hair cut photos...Don't you love the ringlet in the middle of my forehead?
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
I haven't called in 72 hours, and I'm not married....
...so by default, I must be dead.
Seriously, folks (and by folks, I do mean the parental units):
A word to the wise: I don't HAVE to call every SUNDAY to let you know I'm alive. I am a functioning, healthy, single woman living on my own more than 1,100 miles from my hometown. It goes without saying that I talked to you on Wednesday, therefore, I can go past Sunday without talking to you again. I have no news. I do not want to be REAMED on how I need a job and a mate.
Yes, it kinda sucks that a certain someone lost his first job. However, he will GET OVER IT. Coming from someone who has cared enough and lost oh, I don't know more than two jobs post-college, yes it hurts, but he will get over it. And maybe even learn something. I'm sorry I didn't call. Or maybe I'm not. Why do I have to be sorry. I'm living my own life. My own SINGLE life. That may be difficult for you to comprehend. But it's been workin' for me so far.
I don't need your money. I like that you care. But for God's sake (or maybe someone else's since you don't believe in Him) would it kill you to care on an interval that was less than 48 or even 72 hours long? I'm struggling to make it on my own here, and contrary to popular belief I CAN do it.
You just have to BELIEVE.
And HANG UP the phone.
Thank you.
Your adoring daughter,
RECYCLED ART GIRL
Seriously, folks (and by folks, I do mean the parental units):
A word to the wise: I don't HAVE to call every SUNDAY to let you know I'm alive. I am a functioning, healthy, single woman living on my own more than 1,100 miles from my hometown. It goes without saying that I talked to you on Wednesday, therefore, I can go past Sunday without talking to you again. I have no news. I do not want to be REAMED on how I need a job and a mate.
Yes, it kinda sucks that a certain someone lost his first job. However, he will GET OVER IT. Coming from someone who has cared enough and lost oh, I don't know more than two jobs post-college, yes it hurts, but he will get over it. And maybe even learn something. I'm sorry I didn't call. Or maybe I'm not. Why do I have to be sorry. I'm living my own life. My own SINGLE life. That may be difficult for you to comprehend. But it's been workin' for me so far.
I don't need your money. I like that you care. But for God's sake (or maybe someone else's since you don't believe in Him) would it kill you to care on an interval that was less than 48 or even 72 hours long? I'm struggling to make it on my own here, and contrary to popular belief I CAN do it.
You just have to BELIEVE.
And HANG UP the phone.
Thank you.
Your adoring daughter,
RECYCLED ART GIRL
Monday, June 23, 2008
Thanks, Emmy!!!
I feel like this today, thanks to my job search. Strangely though, this is comforting...
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Quote of the Day
If I'm a spinster for the rest of my life,
My yarns will keep me warm on cold and lonely nights. ~Kimya Dawson
I love this girl!!!
In other news, the countdown is down to 11 days. I'm so looking forward to the end of this school year. I learned a lot, and grew a lot, but that doesn't mean I don't deserve a good summer break. All in all, I'm glad I moved up here to the great upper mid-west to be apart of this community. I'm here to stay, for another year at least. More details to come.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Kid Talk
My latest conversation with my three-year-old roommate goes as follows: (read into it what you will.) I'll call the tot M.
M: (as I'm leaving for my second job of the day) J, I'm going outside! (waves shoe in general direction of my face)
Me: Oh really! That sounds fun!
M: Wanna come with me?
Me: I'd love to, but I have to go to work.
M: Again?!?!
Me: Ha! Yeah, again. Unfortunately.
M: Why???
Me: Because I'm broke. You'll understand when you're a bit older.
M: Why you broke?
Me: Ha! Because I do National Service for a living.
M: Oh! That's why you're broke!
Me: Oh M, you are so wise beyond you're years sista! Wise beyond you're years kid!
M: (as I'm leaving for my second job of the day) J, I'm going outside! (waves shoe in general direction of my face)
Me: Oh really! That sounds fun!
M: Wanna come with me?
Me: I'd love to, but I have to go to work.
M: Again?!?!
Me: Ha! Yeah, again. Unfortunately.
M: Why???
Me: Because I'm broke. You'll understand when you're a bit older.
M: Why you broke?
Me: Ha! Because I do National Service for a living.
M: Oh! That's why you're broke!
Me: Oh M, you are so wise beyond you're years sista! Wise beyond you're years kid!
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Miss Potter
I just watched this this weekend and realized that I AM Miss Beatrix Potter. And I love her. The woman didn't marry until she was over 36. She lived at home for most of her single life and dedicated herself to her work, which included writing and illustrating her children's book series. Her characters were her friends, and she was proud of them. She told herself and her fans that she would never marry, and when she did decide to, the love of her life found her by accident, as a business proposition. She was forbidden to marry him until she spent a summer away to make sure she truly wanted to marry "below her class." When the love of her life DIED that summer, she swore to herself and her parents from then on that she would do only what she desired to do and she moved out with her book profits. That's my kind of girl. She did find love again, but only after finding herself and dedicating her life to the conservation of farm land. She was a true inspiration to females everywhere!
Friday, February 8, 2008
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Opportunity Knocking
My friend that lives in New York, D, called to tell me that she might have the opportunity to travel to India for work this summer. Naturally, I congratulated her and wished her well. But then she said that she needs someone to sublet her apartment on the down low, which would mean house sitting, essentially, and babysitting her cat Lucy. All of this, she said, would be free for three months (June-August). Hello? Opportunity of a life time anyone? I love New York! And, if I can stay there rent free for a few months and explore graduate programs and jobs in museums there while I get my act together and explore the city? Why the hell would I say NO? So I said yes, which means I have exactly six months to complete my national service assignment in this town and get the hell outta dodge. Not that I hate this town, its just that I don't know anyone here, and I'd have the love and support of two of my dearest friends in NY. Opportunity calling! Am I going to pick up the phone? You bet your ass I will.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Strung out
I think have hit that moment at work where I am definitely STRUNG OUT. I love what I do and I love the people that I work with, but I'm exhausted. I'm tired of prepping lessons, I'm tired of correcting behavior, and I'm tired of having to please everybody all the time. I think I'm tired of being "ON" all the time. Is there something wrong with me? Should I look for more introverted work? I figured out yesterday that I felt better when I spent the last hour of my day in the office ALONE, working on my quarter report and figuring out what it is I actually do all day that makes me so tired. I know that I would be unhappy with a job where I couldn't talk to people or work with kids, but I think I have gotten myself a little over my head here. When and how do successful people find the balance between work and play. It's almost as if I'm working too hard, that I don't have the energy to go out and play. I put in my 110% at work, and then I'm supposed to go out and meet people and do fun things? I mean, what's that about? I'm young! I'm supposed to be enjoying life in my twenties, am I not? I am enjoying this part of it, but I have to admit that there are a lot of days when I feel like there has to be something more. There has to be something more than work. Am I going to end up alone? I have to start putting myself out there...what a scary thought! I suppose these are all just questions I have after a very long day (7:30am-8:30pm) of work. I should be better in the morning.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
One day, one fine, fine day...
I will have the confidence to get up in front of a very large group of people and sing this. I love Tracy Turnblad! and of course, I *heart* musicals and musical theater. That's why I'm starting an acting class tomorrow with St. Louis Park Community Ed. I'll let you know how it goes. Meanwhile, I'm trying to make myself sing this and insert Minneapolis into the place where she sings the city. Somehow, it just doesn't work. "Good morning, Minneapolis...where there's snow on the ground for miles and miles..." er, just doesn't cut it. I'll keep working on it and I'll let you know how it goes.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
The following is from a letter I wrote earlier today...
I thought it would make a neat life update this week.
...I'm still enjoying the AmeriCorps gig in Minnesota...but I am currently looking for something a little more challenging and, well, I'm a girl of practical means, so PROFITABLE. I've had it (up to here) with national service after nearly two years. I love it, but I just feel like I've done my time. I don't want to loose my ability to explore different careers and regions of the U.S./World, but I think it's time to get serious about life/work.
That requires making a commitment, which requires making a decision. All of these things require confidence. Scary scary scary stuff. I've gotten more, and recouped from that tragic Georgia teaching incident, but something like that sticks with a person. I have learned that I don't really want to work in a school. I needed this experience to tell me that, right? Work with great teachers, and seriously smart, talented, sweet kids. Love the kids, hate the environment. So many other factors involved, in that decision, but I think it's the right one for me right now. So I'm looking elsewhere.
I think I recall telling you I had a non-paid museum internship after my first year of service. I loved that, so I began looking for museum jobs up here. I'm applying for this one:
#2007-2052 TEACHER/INSTRUCTOR , Education. Occasional/Non-Exempt (10-20 hrs/wk). EEO 2. Develop and teach science enrichment classes and camps at the Science Museum. Resumes are currently being accepted for school year and/or summer positions. Responsibilities: Plan, prepare, and present science lessons at the museum. Requirements: BA/BS and teaching license in science or education. Minimum of 25 science credits or related experiences/demonstrated knowledge of science content. Classroom teaching experience. Excellent communication skills, creativity, resourcefulness, and professional attitude. Pay rate: $13.00/hr. Application deadline: Open
If I get it and like it, I might go for a masters in MUSEUM EDUCATION. Who knows. That's about all for now. I'm really scared but excited at the same time. As usual, I hope all is well with you. Have I mentioned it's cold here? -4F today. Yikes!
Ideas, opinions, sharing welcome. I always enjoy your feedback!
...I'm still enjoying the AmeriCorps gig in Minnesota...but I am currently looking for something a little more challenging and, well, I'm a girl of practical means, so PROFITABLE. I've had it (up to here) with national service after nearly two years. I love it, but I just feel like I've done my time. I don't want to loose my ability to explore different careers and regions of the U.S./World, but I think it's time to get serious about life/work.
That requires making a commitment, which requires making a decision. All of these things require confidence. Scary scary scary stuff. I've gotten more, and recouped from that tragic Georgia teaching incident, but something like that sticks with a person. I have learned that I don't really want to work in a school. I needed this experience to tell me that, right? Work with great teachers, and seriously smart, talented, sweet kids. Love the kids, hate the environment. So many other factors involved, in that decision, but I think it's the right one for me right now. So I'm looking elsewhere.
I think I recall telling you I had a non-paid museum internship after my first year of service. I loved that, so I began looking for museum jobs up here. I'm applying for this one:
#2007-2052 TEACHER/INSTRUCTOR , Education. Occasional/Non-Exempt (10-20 hrs/wk). EEO 2. Develop and teach science enrichment classes and camps at the Science Museum. Resumes are currently being accepted for school year and/or summer positions. Responsibilities: Plan, prepare, and present science lessons at the museum. Requirements: BA/BS and teaching license in science or education. Minimum of 25 science credits or related experiences/demonstrated knowledge of science content. Classroom teaching experience. Excellent communication skills, creativity, resourcefulness, and professional attitude. Pay rate: $13.00/hr. Application deadline: Open
If I get it and like it, I might go for a masters in MUSEUM EDUCATION. Who knows. That's about all for now. I'm really scared but excited at the same time. As usual, I hope all is well with you. Have I mentioned it's cold here? -4F today. Yikes!
Ideas, opinions, sharing welcome. I always enjoy your feedback!
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
My Circle of Hell
I could have written this article, because I lived it. It's a dangerous problem and deserves more attention than it receives. Or, shall I say, it's sufferers deserve more attention than they receive. But it's also a tricky subject to approach with someone with an eating disorder as well. Never-the-less, I'm glad someone is finally coming out with some kind of press on the issue, and in my home town as well.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Mulan, Kareoke style
Courtesy of none other than YouTube, of course. I LOVE this song. Go ahead, sing at the top of your lungs!
David Blaine, YouTube Style
If you have ever watched DB, you must see these. Absoulutely helarious parodies of the man's street magic.
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
I'm taking a true risk here..
...and might delete this shortly after I post this, but I was feeling vulnerable that night and thought I needed to let off some steam. I'm just not sure the whole world needs to see it. Here goes; comments welcome.
December 22, 2007
I never realized how much I rely on others for support and kind words of support until today, really. I do know I've always felt good when others have told me how much I rock, but I was told today that I am the other half of two of the teachers I work with at school. As great as it made me feel to know this and to know that I'd been supporting people and they actually recognize this and appreciate it, I do have to say, if I'm one half of two people, where is the part for me?
Both halves of me are going to two people, so what am I lacking? Me time? Time to support myself? Why do I do this in every work and personal life situtation I enter? Is it self-esteem? Do I really think I suck that badly to martyr myself out so badly to every person I meet?
I really have to start thinking this way, don't I? I really have to start creating time for myself. I really have to start making myself a priority. New Year's Resolution anyone? I love New Year's Resolutions! No, actually, I hate them. But they are quite necessary, and the first of the year (particularly being my birth month) is a good time to start. I can't say that no longer will I be a slave to anyone else. For I thrive on being of service to those arround. Perhaps that is why I joined a National Service Program?
I'm asking a lot of questions here, and I don't expect answers right away. I begin my 26th year in two weeks. I propose a toast to me. Whitney Houston said it first (though maybe not best?) when she said "I've found the Greatest Love of All inside of me..." and I think there is an element of truth to the fact that the the greatest love of all is indeed learning to love oneself. I propose that my 26th year is a year I commit to that love, or the persuit of it at least. Geez, it's about time, isn't it?
I'm listening to the song now. It's really quite meaningful to my situtation now, please don't laugh. But "Let the children't laughter remind us of how we used to be..."
I am a teacher dangit. I need to take some cues from children and learning to be a little more carefree. Less self-conscious, less self-aware. My self-awareness is my greatest gift and my greatest curse at times.
and "Everyone searching for a hero, people need someone to look up to..."
I've been doing this with teachers from the time I was ten. Teachers modeled for me what I was supposed to be like. But I fear I transposed the the role to be like, and sometimes I try to be them, and get discouraged when I can't be them. How silly is that?
Of course I can't be them! I look up to them, even the teachers I work with now, but they certainly aren't better than me, and I need to learn to focus on that a little more. I am beautiful alone, by myself, and just me. I can be LIKE whomever I feel like being LIKE, but I must stop there and not try to BECOME anyone else but the me I want to be.
In short, I'm going to try to love life a little more. Enjoy myself in the presence of others. Heck, I would like to become the LEADING LADY of my own life, instead of the best friend in the movie version of my life.
26, 2008. New me. No, not a new me, just a better me. Just me.
December 22, 2007
I never realized how much I rely on others for support and kind words of support until today, really. I do know I've always felt good when others have told me how much I rock, but I was told today that I am the other half of two of the teachers I work with at school. As great as it made me feel to know this and to know that I'd been supporting people and they actually recognize this and appreciate it, I do have to say, if I'm one half of two people, where is the part for me?
Both halves of me are going to two people, so what am I lacking? Me time? Time to support myself? Why do I do this in every work and personal life situtation I enter? Is it self-esteem? Do I really think I suck that badly to martyr myself out so badly to every person I meet?
I really have to start thinking this way, don't I? I really have to start creating time for myself. I really have to start making myself a priority. New Year's Resolution anyone? I love New Year's Resolutions! No, actually, I hate them. But they are quite necessary, and the first of the year (particularly being my birth month) is a good time to start. I can't say that no longer will I be a slave to anyone else. For I thrive on being of service to those arround. Perhaps that is why I joined a National Service Program?
I'm asking a lot of questions here, and I don't expect answers right away. I begin my 26th year in two weeks. I propose a toast to me. Whitney Houston said it first (though maybe not best?) when she said "I've found the Greatest Love of All inside of me..." and I think there is an element of truth to the fact that the the greatest love of all is indeed learning to love oneself. I propose that my 26th year is a year I commit to that love, or the persuit of it at least. Geez, it's about time, isn't it?
I'm listening to the song now. It's really quite meaningful to my situtation now, please don't laugh. But "Let the children't laughter remind us of how we used to be..."
I am a teacher dangit. I need to take some cues from children and learning to be a little more carefree. Less self-conscious, less self-aware. My self-awareness is my greatest gift and my greatest curse at times.
and "Everyone searching for a hero, people need someone to look up to..."
I've been doing this with teachers from the time I was ten. Teachers modeled for me what I was supposed to be like. But I fear I transposed the the role to be like, and sometimes I try to be them, and get discouraged when I can't be them. How silly is that?
Of course I can't be them! I look up to them, even the teachers I work with now, but they certainly aren't better than me, and I need to learn to focus on that a little more. I am beautiful alone, by myself, and just me. I can be LIKE whomever I feel like being LIKE, but I must stop there and not try to BECOME anyone else but the me I want to be.
In short, I'm going to try to love life a little more. Enjoy myself in the presence of others. Heck, I would like to become the LEADING LADY of my own life, instead of the best friend in the movie version of my life.
26, 2008. New me. No, not a new me, just a better me. Just me.
I'm copying posts from my journal over at DailyStrenth.org
You should check it out. It's just a small way I cope with my anxiety. And yes, I'm choosing to go public with it. I've been journaling like this for years, but I think it's finally time to come out of the closet and get some support this way.
Wednesday December 12, 2007
Who am I and where do I belong?
Those are the thoughts that seem to keep resurfacing lately.
Who am I and where do I belong?
They come up in every situation I enter.
Work, school, (school is work), socializing, friends. I don't deserve to be here. I don't deserve this life. So many other people could do this job better than I could. Why am I here and what is my purpose? Does someone care to elaborate? Does anyone relate? I feel like I never belong!!!
Wednesday December 12, 2007
Who am I and where do I belong?
Those are the thoughts that seem to keep resurfacing lately.
Who am I and where do I belong?
They come up in every situation I enter.
Work, school, (school is work), socializing, friends. I don't deserve to be here. I don't deserve this life. So many other people could do this job better than I could. Why am I here and what is my purpose? Does someone care to elaborate? Does anyone relate? I feel like I never belong!!!
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Another blast from the past...
As I browse back through my google documents, I was looking at some of my old journal entries from the beginning of NCCC. I thought I'd post it here.
7/12/06
2:55 p.m.
Today was another long day of in-processing bullshit. We got our uniforms in the morning, and we moved swiftly through the in-processing checklist to travel reimbursements to banking to lunch and ID badges. Half of the morning stuff I didn’t need, so I just kinda sat there while others talked, which I did all of yesterday as well sorta came to the conclusion that people like to hear themselves talk just for the sake of talking. I’m in my room now, for a brief couple of hours, until we have to go back to the 202 building for boot sizing at 4:30. I’m totally stoked we get to wear steel-toed work boots. I’ e never done anything where they were a requirement before, so of course I’m going to be stoked.
Getting to know my team a little better as well. This could potentially be a very good experience. I have a feeling that there will be 1 or 2 (probably girls) that I will end up being close to and the others will just be there. I know I am a person that takes a while before I warm up to everyone and right now I’m falling into my “quiet girl” mode. I want to break out of that role badly, but I know it will take some time. So far everyone is really nice. I also know that tonight after boot sizing we’re off to some “group bonding” activity Maggie has planned for us. Sounds interesting in theory, but I know I’ll probably end up putting my emotional guard up and not share anything. It’s probably going to be one of those group initiative thing that I hate any way. Who knows? We shall find out later.
I suppose I can go and list my team members and first impressions now. Maybe in ten months I can go back and reassess, because they will, most likely, will have changed.
Our team leader Maggie seems really sweet and excited to be here. Really excited and enthusiastic, though I’m wondering how long the façade will last. Certainly a person cannot keep things going for as long as ten months, without one gigantic happy pill. There has got to be an evil side to her, and I’m wondering when we will see it and how long it’ll last. Maggie also keeps saying how tired she is and how she hasn’t slept that much, but when ever we ask her a question she’s right on the ball, so I don’t get it. I totally trust her with my documents and paperwork, and believe she will be an amazing leader this year.
Interesting reading, now that I'm a year and a half removed from the whole situation.
7/12/06
2:55 p.m.
Today was another long day of in-processing bullshit. We got our uniforms in the morning, and we moved swiftly through the in-processing checklist to travel reimbursements to banking to lunch and ID badges. Half of the morning stuff I didn’t need, so I just kinda sat there while others talked, which I did all of yesterday as well sorta came to the conclusion that people like to hear themselves talk just for the sake of talking. I’m in my room now, for a brief couple of hours, until we have to go back to the 202 building for boot sizing at 4:30. I’m totally stoked we get to wear steel-toed work boots. I’ e never done anything where they were a requirement before, so of course I’m going to be stoked.
Getting to know my team a little better as well. This could potentially be a very good experience. I have a feeling that there will be 1 or 2 (probably girls) that I will end up being close to and the others will just be there. I know I am a person that takes a while before I warm up to everyone and right now I’m falling into my “quiet girl” mode. I want to break out of that role badly, but I know it will take some time. So far everyone is really nice. I also know that tonight after boot sizing we’re off to some “group bonding” activity Maggie has planned for us. Sounds interesting in theory, but I know I’ll probably end up putting my emotional guard up and not share anything. It’s probably going to be one of those group initiative thing that I hate any way. Who knows? We shall find out later.
I suppose I can go and list my team members and first impressions now. Maybe in ten months I can go back and reassess, because they will, most likely, will have changed.
Our team leader Maggie seems really sweet and excited to be here. Really excited and enthusiastic, though I’m wondering how long the façade will last. Certainly a person cannot keep things going for as long as ten months, without one gigantic happy pill. There has got to be an evil side to her, and I’m wondering when we will see it and how long it’ll last. Maggie also keeps saying how tired she is and how she hasn’t slept that much, but when ever we ask her a question she’s right on the ball, so I don’t get it. I totally trust her with my documents and paperwork, and believe she will be an amazing leader this year.
Interesting reading, now that I'm a year and a half removed from the whole situation.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)