Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Sometimes I underestimate the value of a good support network

I'm reminded tonight who the important people in my life are, and am glad they are there. The good kind of support always does that to you.

The good kind of support listens, and doesn't judge. The good kind of support doesn't give unsolicited advice, unless you ask for an opinion. The good kind of support doesn't tell you what you "should be" doing at this point in your life and make you feel inferior when you aren't there. I do enough of that without anyone's help, thank you very much.

The good kind of support feels safe.

I had forgotten for a while what safe feels like when talking to people. I had forgotten until today. Until I talked to the one person that always felt safe.

At one point in our conversation, she reminded me that "I was always compliant."

Well that's the under statement of the year. And then I was reminded how compliance is evil. Compliance has always been the way I do things, to avoid conflict. It worked until it didn't. I generally worked in school. Being invisible is how I roll. But invisibility and compliance don't work in life.

I was reminded that in a gentle way today. I have been told that by others, but I don't think it sunk in until now.

I don't think I have a point with this post, and it will certainly take much more reflection to get at what can even be considered a point, but sometimes it just takes the right person. To listen. Absorb. And quietly suggest. How can someone know you better than you know yourself? A little scary, but I'm willing to give this a shot...
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